Yakin’ …

Yakin' down the White River outta Norfork, Arkansas last month; an annual trip that almost wasn't.  It was much needed R&R ... God is good!

     I didn’t think I’d be writin’ this-here entry, but I'd actually got the green-light pert-near last minute to go on my annual kayakin’ trip on the White River in northern Arkansas.  My partner in crime Ty Johnson and I were the token Texan’s (by locale, not by birth) who joined 20+ “Arkies” last month for a few days of fishin’, drinkin’ and much needed R&R at The Riverside Retreat just outside of Norfork, Arkansas.  This trip may be a last hurrah for some of us, and I was blessed to be able to attend.  A few of us are gettin’ a bit long in the tooth and some have acquired health issues; others of us have problems on the job or family responsibilities that have taken precedence on our yearly Hell raisin’.  But evidently, none of us could pass-up an excuse to get together & fish!  On top of that, our host for several years has put the place for sale, so who knows if we’ll be able to do this again next year.  It was do or die time; so this-here "standard redneck" chose to live it!  My job would just hafta wait ‘cause my ass was cashin’-in on some much needed PTO (Paid Time Off, not “pick the orifice” as some employers seem to do).

     I began this adventure at 8:45 P.M. on a mid-September Tuesday evenin’ for a 4+ hour drive to Plano to pick-up Ty.  Early Wednesday mornin’ … not tryin’ to beat the ambulance to the wreck, we cruised along at a good clip until we hit the Ozarks.  Trust me, when you see a sign that says, “Curve 15 MPH” you’d better not be doin’ any over … unless you want to literally make an impromptu trail down a friggin’ mountain!  During our journey we both discussed our work issues, but soon decided that the subject was a friggin’ mood killer ... other than the fact of bein' blessed that we were both currently employed.  We stopped here & there for gas & grub, and hit a few antique/junk shops to break-up the tedious drive … arrivin’ shortly before 6:00 P.M.  This year, I had made it a point to travel as light as possible … even though I’d brought all of the fixin’s for a 22-quart chicken, deer-sausage & egg gumbo.  Yeah, that’s right … I said eggs!  Don’t knock-it ‘til you try it; my cousin George Jones had taught me that lightly-forked hard-boiled eggs will soak-up all of the flavor of your gumbo.  On top-of that, I didn’t wanna test whether or not fresh Gulf seafood would keep safely on ice for a 12-hour+ friggin’ drive.  And NO, I don’t consider anything that comes from a friggin’ “Y’all-Mart” actual fresh seafood.  Period.  The only overkill were my coolers full of Lone Star Beer, which insured me that I wouldn’t be runnin’ out!  Them dang Arkies ain’t too keen on drinkin’ Lone Star.  Yeah, it’s a Texas thang, y’all; however, I’ve got ‘em likin’ the Robert Earl Keen and Pat Green music that I bring for the porch.  Oh, and a big thanks to Buzzard Mike’s son-in-law “Nick the Greek” for helpin’ out with the gumbo!  It’s a big task … so, thanks fer steppin’-up, Nick!  And, as usual … no one went hungry.

Rest & relaxation, with beautiful scenery around every bend. The ridge to the right is of particular interest to me ... read on for further details.

     The water was down this year, so I figured yakin’ would be less dangerous and I could actually concentrate on fishin’ and not dodgin’ rocks & trees.  Last year, that water was so friggin’ high that the 10-hour trip only took only 4½ hours!  Not much time to fish when you’re worried about tumpin’.  And yes, y’all … “tump” is a word here in the South.  Our host had told me last year that if I’d have tumped, my yak & gear would most probably not be retrievable.  He’d also said to look-out for submerged trees while tryin’ to swim to a shoreline … ‘cause even wearin’ a PFD (personal floatation device) I’d likely get hung-up and drown.  Well, Ty had never kayaked before, so I’d convinced him that this was some genuine bucket-list sh¡t and he abso-friggin’-lutely had to try it!  Keith Mathis and I would be on him like ducks on a June bug in case he had any “uh-oh’s” along the way, and we made dang-sure he wore a PFD as well.  Now, did I mention that beer was involved?  Even though I’ve joked about not (yet) bein’ able to get a BWI (boating while intoxicated) citation in a kayak, Ty and I are the most probable culprits for that friggin’ scenario; thank God that Keith don’t drink!

Keith Mathis (left) with Ty Jonson on his very first kayak trip; he did good & had fun, so maybe now he'll catch the bug & get a yak of his own!

The bluff just past the mouth of Goose Creek, which splits at Gather Hollow and becomes
Twin Creek.  Just north of here was a Class 3a report taken by Tal Branco back in 2002 ...

     Well, if you’ve actually read this much of this entry, some of y’all are probably wonderin’, what in the Hell does this redneck road-trip have anything to do with sloughstalkin’ or “Bigfoot”?  Well, lemme tell y’all that this-here area is prime wood-ape territory.  There ain’t that much difference between this terrain and that of the Ouachita’s … which are only a mere 150 or so miles away (as the crow flies).  And if you happen to visit the North American Wood Ape Conservancy’s Website, they have this great feature called “report explorer” which is an interactive map of actual reports taken by actual NAWAC investigators.  And if y’all click HERE you can read about a Class 3a encounter that happened in the fall of 1988 … less than 3 miles from our lodge!  So, last year when I told them Arkies about my personal experiences while in the Ouachita Mountains … only a couple of ‘em joked about it.  This year, I’d decided to do a nighttime hike through the woods … up and into a rock quarry that is off a rocky road close to the lodge owner’s property.  My main objective was to get remote and try to illicit a response to wood-knocks in that area.  So, here's how it went down ...

This rock quarry was about a fifteen-minute walk from the lodge; the elevation and seclusion captivated my curiosity enough to explore it ...

     A couple of them younger Arkies, Drew and Spencer nutted-up and joined me on my 11:00 P.M. hike.  Just hours prior, Drew and I had scouted the area shortly before dark, findin’ a trail on a ridge off to the right with a large dyin’ tree.  This looked like a good place to knock … and the sound would echo throughout the quarry and surroundin' woods.  I noted that not only would someone need 4wd to traverse the trail in, but also that the trail itself was overgrown and looked fairly unused for quite some time.  The full moon aided our navigation, and I remembered that both weeks I'd spent in the Ouachitas back in 2015 were full moons as well … with lots of activity.  I had a feelin’ that this full moon might be special, due to the rare lunar eclipse the night before.  The quarry was 300-400 yards long by a hundred yards or so wide.  I explained to them that once I knocked, it was imperative that no one talk or make any noise so we could listen closely for any possible response.  Well, we heard no responses or any other “monkey business”.  The woods were alive with the sounds of coons, frogs & other critters; but after I knocked … all of 'em shut-down for several minutes on both occasions.  After no responses, we traversed the steep, rocky and thickly-wooded terrain back to the lodge.  On the walk back, Spencer suddenly jumped when he heard what he thought was a low, loud growl!  Upon closer observation … it ended up bein’ the echo of distant thunder through the mountains to our west.  I kept waitin' for Buzzard Mike to jump out from the woods and try to scare someone, but evidently the talk of wood apes in the area kept him on the porch.  By the way, Buzzard Mike has had a huntin' lease in the Ouachitas for a few years.  In conversation, he'd claimed that he's both heard and seen some pretty strange things out there, but attributed them to people or pranksters.  After listenin' to my experiences, he'll now hafta think a bit more about these peculiar instances, and be a bit more observant while runnin' 'round out there in them woods!

Here are the remnants of my "basket of deplorables" on the mornin' of our departure.  What a great bunch of guys! Ty obviously wasn't sober
enough to put his shirt on correctly ... as Buzzard Mike (front right corner) duly noted!  I'd list everyone, but a few may still have warrants ...
chuckle-chuckle, comedy club! Seriously, these guys are a fun group to be around, and everyone had a blast. Hope to see ya'll again next year!

     I’ll try and pin Buzzard Mike down to post more details about what-all he's seen & heard on his lease at a later date.  Like I said, I didn’t even think I’d be able to write this entry or even go on this trip due to my work commitments.  And I just cain’t wait ‘til my next trip, which will be a chance to see my fellow NAWAC investigators and meet our new associate members in Oklahoma.  I’d be willin’ to bet that their experiences in the Ouachita’s this past summer will make my trip to the Ozarks seem pretty insignificant, but only where the wood ape experiences are concerned.  My time with them Arkies, however brief … was nothing short of awesome!  Many memories were shared, and as usual much fun was had.  Those boys will always remain in my thoughts and prayers, and hopefully, we shall all meet again next year; that is, if God’s willin’.  Take care and y’all come back now, ya hear?

Uncertainties ...

Parked in paradise, the Sloughstalker
was loaded-down & ready to launch!

     Howdy, y'all!  My beautiful bride & I just got back from another week on Caddo Lake with two other couples ... which has now officially become an annual event.  In Texas this time of year, folks will face quite a few uncertainties as far as the weather is concerned; and, we damn-sure got a taste of it once we arrived in Uncertain.  Sunday evenin' thru Tuesday it rained straight-line friggin' Chihuahuas, which pretty-much-well put a damper on our outdoor activities.  With the arrival of the last cold-front, we had opened the cabin windows and enjoyed the sound of rain for the next day or so.  Yes, if a tree falls in the woods you can definitely friggin' hear it; but, all you can do is just pucker & pray it don't land on you!  At the point of gettin' hammered with 60+ mph winds, we dodged the bullet as far as any tree damage was concerned.  We had plenty of food & adult beverages to keep us occupied 'til the rain slacked.  Our friends from Arkansas brought their new lab puppy, which kept us all entertained along with the assortment of "Bigfoot" related DVD's I snuck-in to the dissatisfaction of my wife.  Other than that it was good company and good times!

     I had planned on doin' some hog huntin' with my new Henry .45-70 one mornin' ... but the game warden put a damper on that.  It seems that even if you have a valid huntin' license as well as a public land permit, you still cain't hunt hogs in the Caddo Wildlife Management Area during turkey season.  Really?  I always thought that you could hunt feral hogs most anywhere in Texas 24-7, 365 with a valid huntin' license ... but obviously this is one of them uncertainties life throws at you!  Our host and longtime huntin' guide Billy Carter thought I was funnin' him when I asked that question.  He immediately called three different game wardens (who at that time did not answer their phones) and proceeded to tell me that he personally had not seen any wild turkeys in that WMA in over 20 years!  When the Caddo WMA's state wildlife biologist finally called him back, she confirmed that yes, this law was on the books.  Really?  Good Lord, wake-up sheeples ... this is our tax dollars at work! You'll never catch me protestin' our law enforcement officers for doin' their jobs, but I'll damn-sure pay more attention in the future to keep bullsh¡t laws like this from ever gettin' on the friggin' books.  I pay good money for my super-combo huntin' & fishin' license, as well as the extra for my public land permit.  I damn-sure ought to be able to use 'em ... especially to eradicate feral hogs!  To add insult to injury, baitin' hogs in the WMA is not allowed either.  Really?  Thank God I had access to plenty of ice-cold Lone Star Beer to calm my sudden onset of mini-man madness!

     Well, once the rain stopped, I felt the need to put the Sloughstalker through its paces and see where the fish were bitin'.  The water on Caddo was at least 2½' higher than it was when friend and fellow NAWAC investigator Travis Lawrence and I last fished it in late February.  Matter of fact, if you wanted to seriously catch bass ... you had better have gotten as far-up into them woods as you could possibly cast.  Bein' that the Sloughstalker weighs about 1,300 lbs. I really didn't feel the need to get stuck in the flooded forest, so we just got creative with our casts.  My buddy G-Man took that to a whole 'nother level, as I had to retrieve his lures from limbs on several occasions.  What hurt the most was that our buddy Tysquatch, who was fishin' the Spatterdock with an Iron Man kiddie pole had caught several slab crappie and some really nice bream.  And yes, alcohol was involved.  I'd honestly hafta say that more fish were caught off the Carter's dock than outta my boat on this trip.  But that didn't stop us from goin' sloughstalkin' ...

The calm after the storm out on Big Cypress ... rarely would I ever lay a
$150 rod & reel down like this; but, that day, I had a damn good reason!

     On Wednesday, I took G-Man out to fish on Big Cypress.  We were on the WMA shoreline directly across from Blair's Landing, where I had placed two of my game-cams a couple of years before.  We were trollin' a good 20-yards from the shoreline in a swift current.  I was castin' into thick cover along the shoreline when I caught movement about 20-yards into the woods.  A huge black shape rose from the forest floor and casually but silently walked away from us.  At first, I had thought that it was a black bear until I saw the hide; all I could see was its back, but this massive feral hog was pushin' the 400 lb. range!  It was solid black except for the tips of its hair, which had a reddish-brown tint.  I had a fishin' rod in my hand in which I immediately put down and grabbed my holstered Springfield XDm .40 cal. from under the console.  As the Veridian Green laser found its mark, the hog vanished behind a huge tree-fall before I could squeeze the trigger.  This all happened in a matter of seconds.  G-Man, lookin' through his binoculars asked me if this land was part of the WMA, in which I reluctantly answered yes.  I had observed, identified and reacted ... but thank God I was obviously not fast enough.  I may be a bit rowdy, but I ain't no outlaw; nor did I want to shuck-out the bucks for a needless fine.  Had I actually have been wearin' my sidearm, it may have been a different story; however, even though open-carry had just been passed, it was not put into play yet.  All things happen for a reason, I guess.

Headin' into Back Lake on our last afternoon for a 'lil sightseein' ...

     And speakin' of uncertainties, while the women went horseback ridin' I took G-Man and Tysquatch out to the area of our encounter to do a little scoutin' from the boat.  Since the water was up, I decided to take them to the backside of Horse Island and see how close we could get to Back Lake.  On our previous year's trip, the water was much too low and I could not get the Sloughstalker back there.  I hear-tell that our host had taken some folks from Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot out there a couple of months back, and I heard that their trip was not a pleasant one.  No spoiler alerts here; you'll either have to wait 'til the Caddo Lake episode airs this fall; or, if you happen to run into Matt Moneymaker anytime soon you could always just ask him.  It may be a sore subject, so be prepared ... 'cause I really don't think he was.  I done told y'all ... Texas winters ain't kind, especially in the friggin' swamp.  Been there, done that ... so, no hard feelin's Matt.  I don't know ya and I don't owe ya, but I'm gettin' a 'lil too old to be out sloughstalkin' in the brutal, wet-cold.  I seriously don't think anyone could've packed enough Baileys' & coffee for me to have sat through that ... so more power to ya!

Yuki's slumber ...

     We had all knocked-back quite a few beers that afternoon, so short of turnin' our swampscapade into a booze-cruise we headed back to Spatterdock for some grub.  After toppin'-off the oil and a quick re-fuel, we grabbed our fishin' gear and blasted-out to Turtle Shell for one more try at fishin'.  The water was glass, and the lily-pads were just startin' to breach.  We spooked some fish trollin' ... but they seemed to still be lip-locked from the cold-front.  The biggest bass I caught was only 2½ to 3 lbs., but accordin' to our host we had done better than most.  With the long, hard winter and now the over-abundance of spring rains, even the guides were havin' a hard time findin' the fish.  We ended our trip by catchin' more pan-fish that night on Spatterdock, and closed with a roarin' campfire back at The Gallery.  By that time, everyone was pretty-much-well tuckered-out and turned-in just after midnight.  As usual, our mornin' of departure was spent packin' and thinkin' of the uncertainties we faced for our trips home.  We said our good-bye's and departed.  The next time I hope to see my friends will be in September, for another trout trip in the Ozarks on the White River.  Uncertainties ... but if God's willin' and we all stay healthy & safe, that will be yet another adventure.  Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Castin' ...

The chopper filmin' overhead with
Senior Field Producer Joe James for
a new episode of Finding Bigfoot ...

     Howdy, y'all ... just got back from a 550+ mile round-trip to Caddo Lake with friend and fellow NAWAC investigator Travis Lawrence.  While Travis and I went there primarily to bass fish ... I was also there to meet with Senior Field Producer Joe James from Animal Planet’s Finding Bigfoot and show him around the swamp.  James’ job was not only to scout the area, but to set-up and organize everything for both the film crew and cast prior to their week of filmin’ for an upcomin’ Caddo Lake episode.  On Friday, James had hired a chopper to film aerials of the lake and surrounding woods.  We saw ‘em flyin’ about while Travis and I were spendin’ the majority of our time on the water dodgin' inclement weather and doin’ lots of castin' ...

     As Travis and I were fishin', we noticed a large group of pelicans feedin' on somethin'; well, if those birds had corralled the bait, I was sure that there were predator fish such as bass feedin' on 'em as well.  We cast around that general area for a while, but didn't have the luck that those pelicans were havin'! And speakin’ of castin', I had originally been contacted by another associate producer Nick Crow a few months prior, who had asked that my son and I appear on camera to tell of our account of exactly what we had witnessed in Smith’s Slough back in June of 2009.  I just don't think I fit the bill for "town hall" material; however, some of my fishin' & huntin' buddies may say otherwise!  While TC and I opted not to be filmed, I told them that I would be happy to show them around the lake and take them back into the area of Our Encounter .  Travis and I picked-up Joe at Johnson’s Ranch Friday afternoon.  We quickly headed to my buddy’s place in Cypress Village to unload our fishin’ gear and top-off the fuel in my boat for the ride in.  The weather was cold, overcast & drizzly … so I knew right off the bat that our trip would not be a comfortable one.

Well, this group of feedin' pelicans didn't seem to mind the chopper filmin' overheads for Finding Bigfoot, nor did they seem
to mind Travis and I tryin' to "potlick" on their fishin' spot!  Needless to say, they spanked us with their expert fishin' skills ...

     Joe James is a really cool guy, and he seemed to be in awe of our lengthy jaunt through the swamp.  After blastin’ down Big Cypress, I made the cut towards Carter Lake between Hell’s Half Acre and Horse Island.  The water was about 1½’ to 2’ low, so I kept us at a slower speed as we bumped stumps and submerged logs a few times.  After showin’ ‘em where we actually saw this animal, they both decided that they wanted to go onto the island and scout around.  I poled my 1,300 lb. + boat through the slough, but due to the shallow depth, we were still about 8’ shy of dry land.  I climbed into the almost boot-level water, and even though I was careful … ended-up gettin’ wet from the knees down!  I scavenged a few logs & branches to build a makeshift bridge from the bow of the boat to the shore so Travis & Joe wouldn’t endure the same cold, wet fate I had …

     Once on dry land, I took them to the place where TC and I camped back in March of 2010, and showed them where I had set two of my five game-cams until I was forced to remove them in September of 2013.  I also demonstrated that the flooded forest was actually traversable without sinkin’ up to one’s knees, as one would certainly do if they were to walk into the water of that slough.  I’m 220 lbs. and left no tracks, even though the animal that we had witnessed was obviously much bigger and heavier, though it seemed to have moved through the flooded timber with ease.  Travis found a 3’ length of wet 2” x 12” … and used it to smack the side of a large bald Cypress to produce a wood knock.  After a few moments of silence with no response, we moved on.

Travis with his first chain pickerel!

     After polin’ the boat back into a channel, I took them past Carter Lake and onto Big Cypress as it started to get dark.  As cold as it was, surprisingly the bats were out and danced through the beam of my GoLight as we motored into the darkness.  I picked a spot in Stumpy Slough to shut-down the boat, turn off the lights and drift while listenin’ to the barred-owls and discussin’ each other’s time in the grime in pursuit of these mystery animals.  Joe was obviously not inexperienced when it came to bein’ out in the field, and as far as I was concerned he had a dream-job … especially if you were at-all interested in searchin’ for apes all over the place!  As the weather turned south, it was decided that we get our new friend back to civilization.  He had to meet someone in Shreveport, and would endure a busy schedule of preppin’ for the upcomin’ week.  Travis and I enjoyed Joe’s company; hopefully, the three of us will all cross paths some time again …

     Travis and I fished most of the day Saturday, but did not hook-up with any of the double-digit bucket-mouths that I’d bragged about lurkin’ around the secluded Cypress of Caddo.  Even though we dodged & sat-out a couple of thunderstorms, we didn’t get skunked.  However, the few bass caught were small and the rest were lip-locked due to the bitter-cold weather.  Travis caught his first chain pickerel … which was the highlight of his trip as far as the fishin’ went.  One big highlight of the trip for me was gettin’ photos of some Canvasbacks … a hen and two drakes that Travis saw lite in a sea of giant salvinia.  Livin’ on the Gulf coast, these were the first Canvasbacks I’d seen in over 25 years, since my Mississippi flyway duck-huntin’ days with my father-in-law in northeastern Arkansas.

Travis watched as three Canvasbacks landed in a sea of giant salvinia.  I was amazed that I was able to get this shot ...

     Fishin’ ‘til dark, I decided to go ahead and trailer the boat on Saturday evenin’.  Once again, I ended-up wet from the knees down at the boat ramp!  Thank God we took it out, because another front came through that night and we both would’ve been much colder & wetter dealin’ with it on Sunday mornin’.  We packed-up our belongin’s … visited with our host and hit the road by 10:30 A.M. for lunch with my daughter & her boyfriend in "Naconowhere".  I got Travis back to his place and was finally home, un-hitched & unloaded by 6:00 P.M.  Incidentally, the temperature was a balmy 72° until the front came through about 9:00 P.M. at our place.  Caddo was hit with “iceswampocalypse” today, with snow, freezin’ rain and temps in the low 20’s.  My friend in Uncertain said that the roads are a mess, and everyone is hunkered-down.  Hopefully, the freeze will knock down some of that damn giant salvinia!

     As far as castin’ goes, I wish Joe James the best in his endeavors for findin’ credible witnesses for the show.  They’ll start filmin’ later this week, and I don’t envy anyone who’s doin’ any sloughstalkin’ out there in this mess!  Who knows, maybe the apes will be active and they might actually find somethin’; best of luck, y’all!  The next time I’ll be able to do any castin’ out there, I’ll hopefully fare better than we did this trip.  But I’m sure we’ll want to hit the swamp sometime soon, hopefully after everything is green & thick, and the swamp is alive with activity.  Until then, y’all stay warm and be safe runnin’ ‘round out there in them woods!

Floatin' ...



     Howdy-do! I just got back from a 1,500+ mile round-trip through one of the most beautiful places in America ... the Ozarks!  Three days of my week of vacation was spent drivin', while the other 3 was spent kickin' back with some friends and floatin' on the White River in Norfork, Arkansas.  What an awesome place, and what a cool buncha guys from Arkansas that I had the privilege to hang with!  This was their 15th year doin' this; I'd been invited for the last 3, but somethin' had always come up that prevented me from goin'.  Believe you me, if the good Lord allows ... I'll definitely be goin' with 'em again next year!

     If y'all recall my post back in May called Relaxin' ... I picked-up my buddy Ty in Plano, Texas and then headed to "Dad's" just outside of Conway, Arkansas.  After "Dad" (finally) got packed, we headed up one of the most twisted, scenic drives through the Ozarks to the Riverside Retreat, which is one of Chris & Carol Jackson's accommodations on the White River, about 5-miles downstream from Norfork. Our crew stayed at the Lodge, which had 6 bedrooms (with 2 bunks, a queen-sized bed and a full bathroom in each room) as well as 2 full kitchens, dining tables and living rooms with a very large adjoinin' front porch.

     Chris Jackson is a fishin' guide and also provided our group with the jet-drive rental boats which were awaitin' everyone at the ramp each day.  I opted to bring my kayak, which provided me with a much more personal experience on the river.  On the first day, I took the 5-mile trip from Norfork back to the lodge.  This allowed me to get the hang of things, and figure out where the trout were and what they was bitin' on.  The water was not really that swift, but was pretty-dang cold!  Paddlin' upstream was a chore, but it could be done.  I had even anchored my yak and wade-fished a couple of spots, which chilled me to the bone.  Bein' overcast with temps in the fifties, it took a hot shower that evenin' and a couple of bowls of steamin' hot gumbo just to warm me up ...

A swell buncha Arkies partyin' outside of Norfork ...

     I think every one of them Arkies enjoyed the gumbo, which I'd made on our first day there.  I was afraid that seafood wouldn't keep from southeast Texas all the way to northwest Arkansas, so I opted to make a 22-quart pork & venison sausage, chicken and egg gumbo.  That's right ... I put boiled eggs in it!  The trick is to boil the eggs in water with a half a bottle of Soy sauce added, and then after you peel the eggs ... fork 'em to the yolk and add 'em to the almost completely cooked gumbo.  Them boiled eggs soak-up the seasonin' and taste awesome!  You know you've made a good gumbo when nobody adds any seasonin' ... and that includes Tobasco; I came home with two unopened bottles.  I had also done a 17½ lb. oiless Cajun fried turkey which made great sandwiches. By the way ... my new nickname with that Arkansas group is "Gumbo" ...

     Most of the guys in that group all went to the University of Central Arkansas with my wife Lisa, and have kept-up with each other throughout the years.  All of 'em are die-hard outdoorsmen, and have hunted & fished with each other forever.  As most good ole' boys will do, we all ate & drank more than the average man shoulda that weekend!  But, with this many alpha personalities in one group, nobody got outta sorts or showed their ass.  And if anybody around there was hearin' banjos ... it definitely wasn't comin' from this bunch!  I fit right in and cain't wait to do the trip with this awesome bunch again!

     On the second day, I was dropped at Ship's Ferry by 9:00 A.M. where I floated 10-miles back to the Lodge.  Within' the first hour, I'd already caught and released several rainbow and brown trout.  All were small and all were caught chunkin' hardware.  I abso-friggin'-lutely refuse to be a bait-soaker, and probably cast a couple of thousand times throughout the entire day.  At one point, one of my released trout wasn't swimmin' too well.  As I paddled towards it to help it along, an eagle circled overhead lookin' for an easy meal.  One doesn't truly appreciate the size of one of these majestic raptors until it gets up-close & personal.  Before I could get my camera out, on & ready ... it was well outta range of gettin' a decent photo.  On another occasion, several geese were flyin' towards me while two eagles circled overhead.  But again, it was too late to get the friggin' camera. 

     I had packed my cooler with a 12-pack of beer, some Cokes, bottled waters and three very healthy Cajun fried turkey sandwiches.  Did I mention that I'd already had four beers before I'd ever left the Lodge?  Even though I'd purchased my out-of-state fishin' license and trout stamp ... I figured that I was pushin' boundaries with Arkansas Game & Fish as to whether I could actually get a BWI (Boating While Intoxicated) citation in a kayak.  I had borrowed a length of rope and some chain from Chris to drag from the kayak to slow it a bit.  At one point, I'd stood up to relieve myself while movin' along at a fairly decent clip, when that chain caught on some rocks and I severely doused my leg and foot while tryin' to keep my balance.  Talk about gettin' yer chain yanked; thank God none of the locals saw me doin' "fatrabatics" tryin' to stay in the friggin' yak!  I almost swamped tryin' to get the dang chain free, which helped rinse my accidental stream out of the yak.  Since I was already p¡ssed on, I'd have been really p¡ssed-off had I not had a bilge pump and a fishin' towel with me ...

     Cell service was sketchy at best out there, but close to sunset ... I got a call from Ty wonderin' where the Hell I was.  I explained to him that I was in my happy place, drankin' beers and catchin' fish!  He figured that I was okay, but Chris was concerned that one of his guests were amiss, and some of them Arkies was gettin' kind-of concerned as well.  Of course, I felt much safer out there than in most marshes or swamps; but I stowed my fishin' gear, put on my nav lights and made a hard, fast paddle to the ramp.  I arrived at the ramp right at dark, greeted by a few of the fellers.  Once back at the Lodge, I made a couple of 'em almost pee themselves tellin' 'em about my chain gettin' yanked.  We whooped-it up 'til after midnight and all was well after some much needed sleep.

     As usual, I was one of the first ones up ... made some coffee and started securin' my yak to the rack on top of my truck.  I had to get my gear packed first so the other two guys could get to their bags as I dropped 'em off.  As the other Arkies arose, we all chatted as we packed, cleaned the Lodge, said our goodbyes and then reluctantly hit the road.  On the way back, "Dad" got a call from Mark and his wife Dana to come have a look-see at their new property.  They lucked-in to a secure little spread on a bluff where they were fixin' to build a place to retire.  It was absolutely gorgeous and they are truly blessed; it just goes to show that good things do happen to good folks!  Me, Ty & "Dad" ... otherwise known as "G-Man" posed for a partin' shot before we hit the road.  I had 700+ miles to go before I got home; back to family, back to work and back to the daily grind.  But I'd spent quality time with good friends, met new friends and done me some floatin' ... which made that long drive worth while!

"Tres Amigos" will be together again at Caddo Lake next spring ...

 

Relaxin' ...

A week of kickin'-it on Caddo Lake; y'all
 remember ... home is where you make it.

     Howdy, y’all!  It’s been awhile, but I just got back from a week in the swamp with my beautiful bride and two other couples.  This was one of the most relaxin’ trips we’ve taken in quite some time; we had booked The Gallery at Spatterdock in Uncertain, Texas from Billy & Dottie Carter.  All I can say is that the property was absolutely gorgeous, and we were not disappointed with anything.  Billy & Dottie are wonderful hosts and longtime Uncertain residents; Billy is a fishin’ & swamp tour guide on Caddo Lake, and Dottie is a multi-talented artist who has done all of the decoratin’ for their properties, as well as the lanscapin’ & gardens.  If anyone is lookin’ for a quiet and remote escape, I would highly recommend checkin’ ‘em out at http://www.spatterdock.com/.  We were so impressed with the facilities and amenities that we’ve already booked the same place for a week next year!

 

Ty & "Dad" discussin' whatever at the Wangdoodle ...

     We had met with one couple from Plano, TX and another couple from just outside of Conway, AR who were all college friends of my wife from her University of Central Arkansas days.  We had no agenda other than to enjoy each other’s company with beautiful Caddo Lake as our backdrop.  On our second day there, I had divided us into two groups and ferried everyone for a couple of “swamp tours” via our bass boat.  The lake was quite peaceful durin’ the week with little or no boat traffic.  Each trip lasted about 2½ to 3 hours, and even after a heavy coatin’ of BullFrog SPF 40 … I had pretty much-well fried the tops of my legs & knees.  The temps were in the mid to high 70’s durin’ the day, but got down to as low as 38° each night.  The water level was back up and there was no sign of any giant salvinia … other than its rottin’ remnants in the back of Carter Lake.  Due to the large amounts of these submerged mounds of dead invasive, my engine clogged a few times and I had to abandon my original plan of motoring all the way into Back Lake.  Maybe sometimes, things happen for a reason ...

     There was no moon on this trip, which made my third excursion into the swamp a bit more challengin’.  I took three of our guests on an extended night trip through the swamps beginnin’ about 9:30 P.M. and we did not return until well after 1:00 A.M.  I was both shocked and amazed by the void of wildlife; no bugs, no frogs, no snakes, no coons, no gators, beavers, minx or nutria.  The only wildlife we had witnessed was a couple of bats which swooped through the beam of my remote-controlled GoLight.  Come to think of it, we didn’t even see or hear any barred owls until we returned to Spatterdock.  This was the first time in my 4+ years of swampin’ at night on Caddo that this had happened.  The cold-front most probably had somethin’ to do with it, but it was just downright eerie not seein’ or hearin’ any of the local critters.  I’d love to tell y’all that this may have been due to the possible presence of wood apes, but the overly-dramatic will play no role in this-here blog.  Period.

Dawn patrol! Now, this is what I call mornin' glory ... ain't it cool?

     Even the fishin’ was off for this time of year; and I mean way off!  This could have been in-part due to the overly-stocked bar that we had maintained back at The Gallery, but I’d rather blame it on the cold-front.  The lily pads were just now comin’ up, which was well overdue for late April.  Billy Carter had even said that the unusually cold and extended winter had thrown-off the largemouth bass spawn.  Them Caddo Lake bass were still on their beds and as tight-lipped as a picker on a prime patch of May haw.  On one of the last evenin’s we were there, I had fished alone in Turtle Shell right at sundown, which was one of my regular haunts.  I actually started to hear bullfrogs croakin’ in the distance; so I had thought, why not … I’ll just throw me a large top-water frog.  Hell, I actually got a few blow-ups on that lure, but they were all hittin’ short and not actually takin’ the bait.  The water was both glass-smooth and crystal-clear; as I reared back to make an extended cast … the water directly behind me exploded!  It sounded like someone had rolled a friggin’ bowlin’ ball off of my transom, as I had evidently spooked a very large bass hidin’ just under the ledge of vegetation linin’ that boat road.  Hopefully, she’ll still be lurkin’ ‘round there and hungry on my next trip!

Southern pride in historic downtown Jefferson ...

     On Wednesday, we all loaded-up into our truck and headed for historic Jefferson, Texas … which was only a 30-minute drive from Uncertain.  Upon arrival, only half of the town seemed to be open, as it was not quite “tourist season” yet.  And believe me, with my sunburnt knees blarin’ below the legs of my shorts, flip-flop cladded and wearin’ a t-shirt with my camera hangin’ ‘round my neck, I was the walkin’ epitome of a tourist!   Antiquin’ was hit or miss as maybe every third shop seemed to be open, and most of the museums were closed as well.  I scored a signed copy of Mitchel Whittington’s No Hope! The Story of the Great Red River Raft.  Some of y’all may remember Mitchel from the film, Southern Fried Bigfoot.  About noon, we found one of the best barbecue joints in Texas, Joseph’s Riverport Barbeque.  We were just fixin’ to mow-down on some ribs when one of our friends got some very devastating news; his mother had just passed from complications due to a surgery.  We tried to comfort our friend and his wife as best as we could, and returned to Uncertain to help them pack-up for their departure back to Arkansas.  Even though the drive back to The Gallery was brisk, the mood was somber.  Though our friends and their family had dodged the tornadoes that had plowed through their community just a couple of evenin’s before, life … as well as death still happens.  Our friends and their family will remain in our thoughts and prayers …

"Dad's" lost brew.

     The rest of our trip was spent by the remainin’ two couples just relaxin’.  Our friend from Conway had lost his lucky red Coleman can-cooler, which had blown off the dock while huggin’ an empty Miller Lite can two days prior.  I spied it from the dock … floatin’ on a bed of hyacinth between some bald cypress.  My plan had been to kayak over and get it for him, but due to their early departure, our “group kayak adventure” had never transpired.  I finally retrieved it for him on Thursday mornin’ after fishin’ … via our bass boat and reachin’ it with my trusty push-pole.  My wife and our other two friends from Plano were kickin’-it on the dock when I had returned.  We set the empty can still in its cooler in the middle of our table in effigy, and drank the rest of the day and evenin’ away.  Our other buddy’s wife had retired to The Gallery for an afternoon nap, and I fell asleep on the carpeted stern of our boat beneath the shade of a bald cypress while listenin’ to some Pink Floyd.  My wife and her friend stayed perched on the end of the dock roastin’ in the sun, and I listened to them reminiscin’ their college days as I drifted off.  Just before sunset, I had taken-off one last time for that evenin’ fish back in Turtle Shell.  Damn, that truly was a big bass … I just wish our friend from Conway could have been there with me to witness it.



Listenin' to some Floyd on Turtle Shell; G-man, wish you were here ...

     Friday mornin’ came way too friggin’ soon; even though our check-out was at noon, we were all packed & tidied-up well before 10:00 A.M., so we spent the remainder of our time together visitin’ on the front porch.  We said our goodbyes and departed for home.  This was the first time I had made that entire drive back home from Uncertain with no music.  As my wife read from her Kindle, we conversed from time to time, but our minds seemed to be elsewhere.  Thoughts of our responsibilities at home, the week of work we’d both missed, pickin’ up our boarded beagle Shiner and the anticipation of a school function we’d be attendin’ for the next two evenin’s for our son were all overshadowed by the thoughts of our friends in Arkansas.  I’m sure it would have been a lot more relaxin’ just knowin’ that they were okay, and we hoped they would soon be together with their family durin’ their time of grievin’ and spiritual need.

     Now that we’re back, I won’t be relaxin’ much anytime over the next month or so.  Our son will graduate from high school, and there is much to be done within the next few weeks.  Our house is in need of a good spring cleanin’, the garage needs some carpentry and a good paintin’, the trees & shrubs need prunin’, the gardens & flower beds need weedin’ as well as mulchin’ and I’ll need to finish another section of flagstone for our back patio prior to our son’s graduation party.  I’ll have to wait ‘til mid-June before I can even think of returnin’ to Caddo Lake to fish.  Hopefully, I can time that trip for a full-moon with some night-fishin’ and return for that monster-sized bass that I’d spooked back in Turtle Shell.  And maybe I can finally make it via paddlin’ my kayak to Back Lake and see if I can find any possible sign of wood apes.  Or better still, maybe I’ll just hit The Big Thicket for some sloughstalkin’ with a friend or two from the NAWAC.  Until then, I hope all is well with you & yours and maybe everyone else can do some relaxin’ … y’all take care!

Wrappin' ...

The finished product; new Mossy Oak Obsession camo wrap with matchin' seats ... it's camo on the bayou!

     Howdy, y'all; sorry that it's been a while, but life happens!  Health issues and projects have kept me from postin' lately, so I thought I'd better get back at it with the completion of my Camo boat wrappin' project.  What started out as wrappin' my engine cowlin turned into several days of very tedious work.  I'm goin' to warn y'all; if ya ain't just a 'lil crafty and really friggin' patient, do not attempt this ... especially alone!  Had it not been for help from my son and my very patient, older & calmer first cousin from Jigger, I might have had a mini-man melt-down!

     First, I had to remove all of the decals, registration sticker & identification numbers from the hull.  Next, I had to remove the guide-ons and fender-wells from my trailer.  And finally, I had to remove any decal residue with acetone, scrub the entire exterior of my boat & engine with Dawn, rinse & dry it thoroughly and then degrease everything with denatured alcohol.  I ain't goin' to lie to y'all ... between all the acetone & alcohol scrubin' in the heat in our driveway, I got pretty-dang high from the fumes, so y'all be sure to wear a mask.

     I took the first couple of days of 70° weather to start actually wrappin' my boat.  Due to all of the through-hulls on the transom, I was smart enough to make a template out of poster board before I cut any vinyl.  I had to prep all of the surfaces with 3M 94 Primer, and then apply the vinyl with a squeegee & heat gun.  Even though there are how-to videos on the Mossy Oak Graphics Web site http://www.mossyoakgraphics.com that made this look fairly simple, I had one Hell of a time gettin' the wrap applied without some minor wrinklin'.  The boat that was wrapped on their video only had one rib runnin' down each side ... and my boat has two; so, when you factor-in that the sides contour, I could not for the life of me apply the wrap without some wrinkles.

     What I thought would be the hardest part of the job was actually the easiest ... wrappin' the engine down to the lower unit.  After I finally applied all of the vinyl, I had to pop any bubbles with my trusty X-ACTO knife, heat and re-squeegee everything.  And after trimmin' all of the edges, I had to go back and apply 3M Edge Sealer to keep the vinyl from peelin'.  I then applied the new hull identification numbers, the registration stickers and the boat's name, "Sloughstalker".  The last things to do were to reattach both depth-finder transducers and the guide-ons and fender-wells on the trailer.

     I pre-fished a bass tournament last weekend in Brazoria County and got quite a few comments on my boat.  "Hey, man ... what kind of boat is that?" or "Where'd you buy your boat?" were the main questions.  I had to explain that this was a 10 year-old Alumacraft that I (not so) simply wrapped, and then gave them the Mossy Oak Graphics address.  One guy even offered to pay me to wrap his boat, but I all too quickly and graciously declined.  I think I'd rather spend my time sloughstalkin' or fishin' than wrappin' any day!  Plus, I think I really owe my first cousin a trip.  Until next time, y'all take care ...

Camo ...

Camo GPS, phone & camera cases, and a torch lighter;
which, my wife wants to use to torch my WH cap with!

     Howdy!  What's y'alls favorite color?  Just curious, 'cause I have several; tan, brown, olive-drab, black & gray just to name a few.  But bein' a hunter, avid outdoorsman and a bona-fide redneck, if camo were an actual color, it'd be my favorite!  A lot of stuff I've bought over the last 35-years or so has been camouflaged, includin' most of my outdoor gear and apparel.  Hell, I've even tried to buy my beautiful bride some camo; key word here bein' tried.  I was lookin' through one of them Ducks Unlimited catalogs a few years back, and they had a whole section of women's clothin', nighties, undies & such.  I pointed-out a camo thong and said, "Daaamn, I bet you'd look good in that."  She replied, "Are you remedial? And, not in your wildest friggin' dreams!"  Cain't blame me for tryin' ...

     Camo is an integral part of my sloughstalkin'.  I feel that it gives me an edge when I'm wanderin' 'round out there in them woods.  Camo patterns have come a long way since I started huntin'.  Gone are the days of U.S. Woodland Camo and Vietnam Tiger-Stripe, 'specially since Bill Jordan blew-up the industry in the mid-eighties with Realtree.  I was immediately addicted, purchasin' everything I could to become the ultimate bowhuntin' ninja!  I was Realtree from mask to boots, and even made some Realtree limb-covers for my take-down recurve.  Once I was bowhuntin' in the Sam Houston National Forest, and had a couple of hunters walk past me within 10-yards ... twice ... without noticin' I was even there.  My go-to patterns back then were either TreBark for duck huntin' in flooded timber, traditional brown-camo for duckhuntin' the marsh and Realtree for any and everything else.  And then, along came Toxey Haas and Mossy Oak ...

     I'm real partial to Mossy Oak, which offers a wide variety of patterns to fit various terrains.  By addin' shadows to create more depth in their patterns, I liked how the camo broke-up and helped me blend-in.  I am abso-friggin'-lutely obsessed with their Mossy Oak Obsession ... and often wondered what it would take to camo my boat in that particular pattern.  Bein' that my boat has seen a decade of bass fishin', duck huntin' & sloughstalkin' ... I just recently had to replace the seats.  Of course, I ordered them in camo; specifically, Mossy Oak Obsession ... and my beautiful bride just got me the matchin' castin' seats for Christmas!  I figured that I might as well keep-up appearances and camo the rest of the boat as well.  I got to surfin' on that-there internet and found www.mossyoakgraphics.com and went wild!

 

     They offer a 3M Premium Cast Vinyl that is much more elastic and durable than calendered vinyl, which allows you to wrap rounded shapes such as ribs, grooves & contours.  It's available in several different camo patterns, is fairly easy to install and its warranty states that it won't fade for 5-years.  Well, assumin' I keep my boat covered from the sun when I'm not usin' it, I'm sure it'll retain its woodsy-luster for years to come.  This material comes in kits for several different applications; boats, trucks, ATV's, guns, etc., or you can purchase it by the roll.  Their Web site even offers instructional videos for most applications, and minimal tools are needed; an X-ACTO knife, heatgun, a squeegee and low-tack maskin' or painter's tape.  I also purchased an 8 oz. can of 3M 94 Primer and some 3M 3950 Edge Sealer which is available on www.amazon.com ...

 

     The only drawback is that the temperature needs to be at least 60° to 70° for the first 24-hours after installation.  Bein' that it's winter and I don't have a heated garage, I'll have to wait 'til the weather warms to knock-out the bulk of this project.  I did, however complete the cowling of my outboard, trollin' motor and other parts that can be removed and brought indoors.  Since this was my first time to attempt this, I took a few hours to get it right.  And since I'm a graphic designer, I even reproduced the Yamaha and Minn Kota logos, horsepower decals, hull identification numbers and the boat's name to complete my project.  I'll be sure to post my photos of the finished job before spring.  So, the next time I'm out sloughstalkin' in the boat ... I'll be stealthy, stylin' & rockin' the camo while doin' my time in the grime.  Hope y'all enjoyed this and take care out there!