Karnack ...

Sundown on Turtle Shell at Caddo; I like slingin'
a few topwaters before I do my slough-stalkin'!

     Howdy!  Hope y’all are havin' a Happy Halloween, and really hope that y’all enjoy this quirky, extremely "trippy" but true installment.  This here is another fine example of things comin’ ‘round full circle in my life.  Call it coincidence, or a small world or whatever; but I always seem to see how sometimes, them puzzlin’ pieces of life start comin’ together.  Y’all have any idea what I’m talkin’ about?  For example: ever had that friend who knows someone that was at this place one time when someone saw that thing?  Okay, I didn’t mean to get-all Twilight Zone on y’all; but read on and y’all might see exactly what I mean.

 

     Any of y’all ever heard of Karnack?  Now, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout no temple or village in over in Egypt.  I’m talkin’ ‘bout Karnack, Texas in Harrison County … just off of Caddo Lake.  Karnack is not only famous for bein’ the home of Lady Bird Johnson and the site of the Caddo Lake State Park … but was also the site of the former Longhorn Army Ammunition Plant.  Back in the early 40’s … the Monsanto Chemical Company selected this site to produce Tri-Nitro-Toluene … better known as TNT!  Eventually, the plant was operated by Morton Thiokol, and was used to destroy Pershing IA and II missles.  Talk about gettin’ some bang for your buck; evidently, our government definitely got some outta that place!

 

     But a little over twenty years ago, the plant was listed as a Superfund site on the National Priorities List.  What does that mean, you ask?  That means that the Environmental Protection Agency spanked ‘em for contaminatin’ the land & groundwater.  Y’all remember, leave only footprints when you’re out there in them woods … that means everyone!  Evidently, solvents such as Methylene Chloride, Trichloroethene, lead and mercury were not only contaminatin’ the soil down to the ground water, but were makin’ their way into Caddo Lake.  So not only did they get their hinnies’ spanked, they are still cleanin’ that sh¡t up to this day!  The land is now managed by Texas Parks & Wildlife, and it’s where they’s breedin’ them friggin’ weevils that’s s’posed to clean-up the giant salvinia problem on Caddo Lake.  Hmmm, interestin’ …

     Well, why would I be tellin’ y’all all this?  Please don’t think that I’m insinuatin’ that them contaminants are the cause of some God-awful redneck mutation runnin’ ‘round out there in them woods!  Even though I’m a sci-fi buff … I don’t wanna start no dang rumors.  Reality-snap, y’all … they’ve been havin’ sightin’s of boogers, Caddo-Critters, the Texas Bigfoot, wildmen, wood apes or whatever long before the Longhorn Army Ammunition Plant had established a site out there in them woods.  Now, a redneck mutation might explain my sightin’ of somethin’ tall, dark, hairy & female that I saw lurkin’ ‘round the parkin’ lot late one night at The Lighthouse near Cypress Village!  But, I sincerely doubt that it had anything to do with what my son and I had come across in June of 2009 wadin’ through the goo back in Smith’s Slough …

Spindletop Bass Club in '03

     I’d never even been to Caddo Lake until March of 2009.  As an avid angler, I’d heard about the lake and always wanted to go, but never got the chance.  That is ‘til September 13, 2008, when Hurricane Ike wiped out the best place I’d ever fished … period.  I’d been a bona-fide member of this honey-hole called the Spindletop Bass Club, located just off the Intracoastal Waterway in between Winnie and High Island, Texas.  It was a private, flooded tract (1 mile x 1 mile) of land established & well-stocked since 1956, which offered duck huntin’ as well as some of the best bass fishin’ I’d ever experienced.  My personal best was 13½ lbs. on a certified digital scale, and I had lost much, much bigger fish (on a regular basis).  Yep … more of those “ones that got away” stories, y’all.  Sad to say, Ike washed those trophy bass through them rice fields all the way up to Interstate-10.  It would take years to eradicate the soil from the damages of saltwater & other contaminates … whats-more to re-stock Spindletop.  My son and I are really missin’ the fishin’ there, and are truly blessed with its memories.  I guess that some things happen for a reason ...

 

     So, lackin’ a place to go bassin’, my son and I booked a cabin on Caddo Lake in early 2009.  I was readyin’ the boat prior to our upcommin’ trip, and had stopped at a buddy’s garage to air the trailer tires and grease the bearin’s.  When I told him that we was headin’ up to Caddo Lake soon, he said that his best friend lives there, growed-up there, and knew every inch of that lake … and that I should call him.  Well, after an hour on the phone with this guy’s friend (and to make a long story short if y’all can believe that I could actually do so) I told him where we we’d be stayin’ and when we’d be there.  When we finally met, he showed me and my son all over that dang lake!  We’ve become good friends ever since, and I’m now privileged to stay in his guest cabin, which he calls his “Poutin’ House”.  The Poutin’ House got its name ‘cause that’s where he stays when he p¡sses his wife off, or visa-versa.  Better than stayin’ in the doghouse (or on the dang couch) which is where I usually am!

     Now, remember … this is the same buddy that I had called right after Our Encounter.  So on about my third or fourth trip back to Caddo, my buddy took me to Karnack and showed me where he used to work … as a fabricator at the Longhorn Army Ammunition Plant.  We drove around for a good hour or so and looked at what was left of the facility.  Even though it seemed that there wasn’t much to see drivin’ around out there through them woods, my buddy is like this historical tour guide, so I learned things most folks won’t.  Uh, oh … now just wait a dang minute; bein’ that the game warden will probably be readin’ this … let me clarify what I meant by “drivin’ through them woods”.  Seriously, what was left of the old plants’ asphalt roads were severely overgrown, so it ain’t like we was technically off-roadin’ or makin’ our own trails.  And what was left of that site reminded me of an episode of The History Channel’s Life After People.  My buddy told me some war (work) stories, showed me this & that … and I was abso-friggin’-lutely amazed at what-all used to be out there.  So, even though we were drivin’ on what was left of them overgrown roads, them woods done took over everything else.

 

     I’m goin’ to switch gears again, so y’all hang-on and try to keep up.  A little over twenty-five years ago … I met the love of my life!  She was a farm girl from Arkansas, and while she didn’t come from a large family like mine, she had an extended family; namely her college buds from the University of Central Arkansas in the quaint little town of Conway.  Her friends are really cool, and they’ve always reminded me of that movie, The Big Chill.  Hell, one of ‘em reminds me of Kevin Kline (my wife says William Hurt); but when she and I first met … it wasn’t long before I was introduced to “The Crew”.  One member of “The Crew” is a guy who they affectionately call “Dad”.  He and I immediately hit it off and killed some serious brain-cells together over the years, mainly at weddin’s (he even attended ours).  As we all started our own families, “The Crew” calmed their wild partyin' ways and saw each other a lot less frequently than we should have.

 

     Now things are goin’ to get weird.  Y’all remember what I said about things comin’ ‘round full circle?  Last year, “Kevin Kline” come to visit us while we had rented a cabin outside of Chico, Texas on Lake Bridgeport.  While kickin’ it on the porch and knockin’ back (quite) a few beers, I brought-up “our encounter” on Caddo Lake.  He obviously realized that I was serious, ‘cause he eventually shared our experience with some of “The Crew” from Arkansas.  So a couple of months ago, I get this call outta the blue from “Dad”!  He was wantin’ me to join him on a fishin’ trip on the White River in Arkansas with “Kevin Kline” and some other good-ole boys.  He evidently knew all about my son and I fishin’ at Caddo Lake as well as “our encounter” ‘cause he tells me, “Hey, man … I was country ‘fore country was cool!  Back when I was a kid in the early 70’s, my daddy worked out near Texarkana at a place called Lone Star Army Ammunition Plant.  He was a mechanic, and I remember him comin’ home one night and tellin’ us about this trucker that saw this thing early one mornin’ out at the plant.”  Well … that got my-dang attention!

     After listenin’ to his story, I was amazed.  This was a genuine “Bigfoot” account from someone that I knew, and it was from the same general area that we had “our encounter”.  Now, I’d heard a few stories from the locals ‘round Uncertain, but this was from someone I’d known personally for quite some time.  Well, the first thing I had to ask him was, did this incident take place before or after the movie, The Legend of Boggy Creek come out?  If I remember correctly, he thought that it prob’ly was before.  The next thing that struck me was that I’d never mentioned the guided-trip by my buddy to Karnack and the Longhorn Army Ammunition Plant to anyone.  The only thing that I had ever told “Kevin Kline” was just the details about “our encounter” and that I had placed some game-cams out there in them woods to try and film whatever it was that we had seen.  But “Dad” was callin’ this place, the “Lone Star” Army Ammunition Plant, not “Longhorn” Army Ammunition Plant.  Hmmm?   Coincidence?  Yep.  Weird?  Yep, yep! 

     What I recall “Dad” sayin’ was that he remembered his daddy comin’ home from work one evenin’ ... and tellin’ the family that this trucker had come in to the plant with a load real late the night before.  While the trucker was waitin’ for the mornin’ shift to show, he evidently fell asleep in his cab.  At some point, the trucker was awakened by somethin’ prowlin’ around his rig.  To his horror, this thing was a large, hairy biped that walked outta them woods and peered into his cab.  The trucker was so rattled by this, he quit his friggin' job!  Holy, sh¡t ... if I’d have been that trucker, somebody would've had to have been cleanin’ the inside of that cab; mainly the driver’s seat!  What a story ... I wished that “Dad” would have elaborated more, ‘cause evidently this is somethin’ that he clearly remembered hearin’ from his daddy as a kid.  Maybe I can coax him into givin' a more detailed account sometime ...

     As it turns-out, my buddy from Uncertain was in town this past Monday; so to clarify matters … I asked him if he knew anything about a “Lone Star Army Ammunition Plant”.  He said, “Yeah, that was up there somewhere ‘round Texarkana. But I worked for Morton Thiokol at the Longhorn Army Ammunition Plant.”  Really?  Okay, let me try and get this straight; so we got a Longhorn Army Ammunition Plant near Caddo Lake where folks have been seein’ the Caddo Critter.  And then there’s a Lone Star Army Ammunition Plant near Texarkana which is close to where people’s been seein’ the Fouke Monster?  Holy sh¡t … this really was gettin’ weird!  And when I done my homework on that-there internet, I found out that the Lone Star Army Ammunition Plant was also listed as a Superfund site on the National Priorities List!  Hmmm, interestin’; and both of these places are within an hours’ drive of each other. 

     Y’all hearin’ that Twilight Zone music yet?  I am ... ‘cause now, I got this friend who knows someone that was at this place one time when someone saw that thing; and, that place is near a similar place where another friend worked which is near the place where my son and I saw a similar thing!  Got all that?  Is this friggin' trippin’ or what?  Like I said, please don’t think that I’m insinuatin’ that these contaminated sites are the cause of somethin’ that’s runnin’ ‘round out there in them woods.  I ain’t into none of them conspiracy theories, the paranormal or any of that other stuff … but ain’t this a weird friggin’ scenario?  So, when I said that sometimes, things seem to come ‘round full circle, was this not some sort-of ab-friggin’-normal coincidence?  It kind-of gives me the doo-doo chills!  Does Karnack have karma?  Maybe for me … as far as this twisted little narrative is concerned.  What these areas around Karnack & Texarkana do seem to have is some-sort of enigmatic attraction for them bipedal mystery critters that's been runnin' 'round out there in them woods.  Really?  Think about it; have a Happy Halloween ... and y’all come back now, you hear?