Renovatin' ...

My antique arm prior to doin' any renovatin' ... a 1952 Tula Armory SKS - 7.62 x 39mm semi-auto carbine.

     Howdy-do!  I finally got around to renovatin’ my old 1952 Tula SKS.  This gun wasn’t doin’ me any good just sittin’ in a gun safe.  Takin’ it to the range occasionally for sh¡ts & giggles wasn’t justifiable; I really just wanted to make this relic my new hog huntin’ gun!  This Soviet surplus semi-automatic carbine fired ten 7.62 x 39mm rounds, loaded into what I called a “dump” (fixed or stationary) magazine which is fed via the use of a stripper clip.  My main objectives were to replace this system with removable 20-round magazines, and give my old gun both a legal as well as a tactical face-lift in the process.  I did not want to make any permanent modifications to my antique arm, so I got out on that-there internet and done me a bunch of researchin’ before I began.  I found several helpful hints on various SKS forums, and found some very informative You Tube videos as well.  So for my first shout-out … my camo Waffle House hat goes off to “sootch00” aka Team Sootch Minuteman; thanks for all of your time & efforts that you’ve put into your excellent You Tube channel, and especially for keepin’ us informed!  His “Fun Gun Reviews & Sensible Survival” videos will not disappoint, so y’all be sure to check him out …

 

The Tula star & arrow logo
with the rectangular refurb
stamp just above the date.

     After doin’ some pretty extensive research on my particular SKS, I discovered that even though it had been refurbished … it was actually refurbed at the original Tula Armory and had all of its matchin’ serial numbers!  This gun was purchased in the late 80’s and I had all of the original accessories that came with it as well; the sling, cleanin’ tools, the oiler and the bladed bayonet.  Hell, I even have a couple of boxes of the original hollow-point shells!  To a collector, the gun was worth more than just your average surplus carbine, so I wanted to make sure that I did not modify or re-tool any of the original parts.  I would, however have to replace some components to make my arm legally compliant.  So, after some careful analysis of all of the different options that I had available, I decided to purchase the TAPCO Intrafuse 6-Postion Stock System (with a blade bayonet cut) in traditional olive drab.  This adjustable stock is jam-up for gettin’ the right feel when yer aimin’ it or sightin’ it in … especially if ya got short little “T-Rex” arms like mine!  I also had purchased the T6 rubber butt-pad, which reduces the kick a bit, and bought an Ultimate Arms Gear adjustable tactical butt-stock sling from The Global Sportsman which allows several different configurations of carry positions.

 

     I had to keep in mind that this gun was goin’ to be my new hog huntin’ rifle, and would receive quite a bit of abuse out in the field.  Any gun that I take sloughstalkin’ has gotta withstand wet & muddy conditions, not to mention the abnormal abuses of hog huntin’!  The last thing I wanted to do was warp, crack or damage the original wooden stock or upper hand guard, so gettin’ my new TAPCO synthetic composite stock was a must.  It came with a SAW style pistol grip and a Picatinny rail-styled upper hand-guard that would allow the mountin’ of any additional accessories.  This stock system counted as 3 of the legal compliant parts needed for my conversion (butt, pistol-grip and fore-arm) and the 20-round magazine counted as 3 as well (floor-plate, follower & the body).  The muzzle-brake counted as another, and I had also opted to purchase TAPCO’s improved gas tube as well as their gas piston, which each count as one U.S.C. (United States Code) 922r compliant part for my import.  Now, I’m not goin’ to get into any legalities concernin’ the conversion of an imported firearm, but I highly suggest that y’all do yer homework prior to takin’ on such a project.  I made damn sure that I followed every letter of the law, ‘cause I don’t ever plan on tradin’ any of my camo for one of them federal orange jumpsuits.  Period.

 

     On top of producin’ quality US made components, I found that TAPCO has excellent customer service as well.  Not only did I get a complete list of all the parts (and correct part numbers) that I would need to purchase from the customer service manager Kevin … he also e-mailed me detailed instructions, includin’ those on any modifications that may have to be made.  For example, some SKS’s would not accept the TAPCO 20-round magazine without some minor toolin’ to the magazine itself.  Luckily, this was not the case with my arm; however, I did have to file the top edge of the gas tube in order for the latch to slide down and lock it securely into place.  Also, I had decided to remove my bayonet to accommodate a foldin’ bi-pod from Ultimate Arms Gear, and added the TAPCO threaded muzzle-brake.  And speakin’ of toolin’ … my barrel was not threaded, and I had read several horror stories in the form of reviews on Amazon.com from folks who added inferior muzzle-brakes which only had 1, 2 or 3 set-screws.  I ended-up purchasin’ an SKS Thread Adapter from Tactical Military Gear, which is also manufactured in the USA and features 4 set screws.  The last thing that I needed was catastrophic failure at firin’ time …

 

A few things used for my amateur gunsmithin' ...

     This 14x1mm left-hand thread pitched adapter did not initially fit over my particular barrel.  I did not want to thread the barrel on my antique arm … so I had to do some creative tool work on the inside of the adapter.  My dilemma was that if I used a lathe … I might take-out too much of the inner wall of the adapter, and the fit would not be tight.  It needed to fit snugly, and not have any play that might change the trajectory or cause the bullet to strike the inside of the muzzle-brake.  After wandering the aisles of my local Ace hardware store, I decided on buyin’ a 2” long, 9mm ¼” drive socket, which just fit inside the adapter … as well as a manual driver with a sturdy handle.  Using 3M double-sided tape, I made calculated, tight and even wraps over the outside of the socket; I then used my trusty X-ACTO to cut a piece of 120-grit sandpaper, and wrapped it over the taped socket to where the ends matched-up evenly.  What I made was a custom-fit cylindrical rasp, which now fit tightly inside of the adapter, and I sanded it by twisting it.  As my opening became a fraction larger, I would add another wrap of tape each time I changed-out my sandpaper.  I gradually switched to finer grits … until I eventually ended-up smoothing it-out with 320-grit.  My adapter now fit very snugly onto the end of the barrel, and seated firmly against the sight.  To ensure that the 4 set-screws would hold under the extreme pressure of firing, I made four 1/16” deep divots into the outer barrel.  After re-bluing the adapter and the divots in the barrel … I simply applied some blue thread-locker to seal the deal!

 

All mods complete except for optics; I prefer an open-site and will add a NEBO iPROTEC Green Light.

     As you can see, the final result was just as excitin’ as getting’ a new gun!  But looks ain’t everything … ‘cause the true test would hafta come from the range.  The last thing anyone needs is an “uh, oh …” out there in them woods, resultin' in severe injuries or worse.  If somethin’ does go south … hopefully it’s a simple fix, like usin’ a broken shell extractor.  Then again, bein’ amongst a buncha p¡ssed-off feral hogs with a rifle that don’t shoot wouldn’t be no picnic either; unless, I guess … you was one of them hogs!  All jokin’ aside, most of ‘em just run upon sight; however, I have had a couple lately that have stood their ground or chomped their teeth at me.  I had jumped a boar, two sows & a piglet on Horse Island close to Back Lake last year that had bedded down next to a huge tree-fall.  The two sows and piglet squealed & ran, but that big ole boar not only stood his ground but he friggin’ growled at me!  I’d love to have this same scenario play-out again while holdin’ my renovated SKS and thin that herd.  But first, I’ll be gettin’ some range-time in over the next couple of weekends.  So until then, y’all take care and enjoy the summer!

Peckin' ...

The Pileated Woodpecker is quite common in the south ...

     Howdy, y’all … I’ve had to lay my sloughstalkin’, fishin’ & hog-huntin’ aside for the past few weeks.  I even stopped doin’ a tactical refurb on my antique Russian semi-automatic carbine, which I’ve been itchin’ to make my new feral hog eradicator.  Reason bein’ … I’ve been busier than a cat tryin’ to cover-it-up on concrete gettin’ our 42-year old house all prettied-up for our son’s high school graduation party.  There’s never a lack of stuff to do on our spread, but my beautiful bride done sweet-talked me into gettin’ my fat-ass into high-gear and knockin’-out a buncha neglected honey-dos.  Even though I did the all the fixin’, repairin’ & sandin’, she’s run circles around me and painted almost every interior base-board, door frame & door, an entire hallway and two bathrooms!  I’ve replaced all the old stuff with all new hardware; door-knobs, hinges etc., and I still have a livin’ room ceilin’ to paint, steam cleanin’ to do and a room full of oak paneling to oil.  And, there’s a bunch of dang yard & garden stuff to jump-on as well.  But in my haste, I forgot to tell y’all about somethin’ that had happened to me as we spent our week in Uncertain Relaxin’ …

 

     I finally got a shot on a particular bird that I’d been tryin’ to get for the last several years.  If any of y’all may recall from an earlier post that I did back in January called Shootin’ Nature … I have been tryin’ like Hell to get a decent photo of a pileated woodpecker.  This may be no big deal to some of y’all, but I ain’t no birdwatcher nor am I by any means a professional wildlife photographer.  It seemed that no matter how much or how hard that I had tried … somethin’ always come up that kept my hapless-ass from gettin’ a decent pic of one!  But while I was out fishin’ one late April mornin’ I finally got an opportunity; and, it wasn’t that dang easy, either!  On that particular mornin’ it was 38° and there was a lake wind advisory on Caddo.  Have any of y’all ever tried to maneuver a boat while standin’ with one foot manipulatin' a foot-controlled trollin’ motor in 20-mph winds while lookin’ up and tryin’ to focus on a movin’ object in a friggin’ tree?  Y'all got all that?  'Cause I been there & done that ... but I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout all those times I was retrievin’ my dang fishin’ lures outta limbs due to my “unique” castin’ (in)abilities!

 



I won't call this my "money shot" due to the twig coverin' its profile.

     This time I was tryin’ to focus on my opus; so, not only was this big, beautiful bird movin’ from branch to branch but it was busy peckin’ … and it definitely didn’t stay still for very friggin’ long!  Even though it was very focused on gettin’ grub, I was tryin’ to focus on it while dodgin’ stumps and tryin’ to steady myself on the bow of my rockin’, rollin' boat in gustin’ conditions.  Thank God I used to surf and skateboard and still have some fairly-good balance … or I might’ve been payin’ for another new Canon PowerShot SX50 and wishin’ I had some dry friggin’ clothes to change into!  And just when I thought I could get a bit closer for a better photo op, it would take-off and fly to another dang Cypress tree.  Comically, what we had here was one persistent pecker-head chasin’ another persistent pecker-head all through the friggin’ swamp!  Like I’ve said, shootin’ nature ain’t easy, and it all depends on the nature of the beast you’re tryin’ to shoot …

 

     I probably only spent a good twenty minutes chasin’ that bird from tree to tree across Turtle Shell.  It finally grew tired of me and disappeared into the distant, dense flooded woods.  And again, out of the 35 or more shots that I was actually able to take … only about a quarter of those were usable, and I really didn’t feel that I got my “money-shot”, either.  But in the sixteen or so years of me tryin’ to get a pic of one of these birds … this was the best opportunity that I had ever had.  Of course, when I’m out sloughstalkin’ or runnin’ ‘round out there in them woods … I’m usually lookin’ for a much larger and much-more elusive kind of critter.  But I’m sure that if I continue to be the persistent little pecker that my wife says that I am, maybe I’ll get a shot of one sometime soon.

 



This was one of the better shots that I got on that unusually cold, windy April day, right before it flew away.

     In the meantime, I’d better stop peckin’ on this-here blog and get back to my honey-dos.  The sooner I finish-up with my chores … the sooner I can continue the tactical mods on my Tula SKS, in which I’ll detail in a couple of upcomin’ entries called Renovatin’.  That’s right; there just might be a part-two, as long as I don’t have catastrophic failure at the range!  Well, I guess that if that were to happen, it would be better to happen there than somewhere out in them woods!  Until then, y’all be safe and take care …

Survivin' ...

Some of the attendees were (left to right) NAWAC Investigator
Tod Pinkerton, Associate Member Terra LaRochelle, Investigator
Brad McAndrews, Chanell Okoro & Investigator Travis Lawrence.

     Howdy, y’all … I was in the Sam Houston National Forest last weekend where I had the pleasure and privilege to attend a wilderness first aid training camp-out with the North American Wood Ape Conservancy.  Even though I have been CPR Certified for several years and have completed many different classes such as the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department’s Hunter Education Course and a Coast Guard Auxiliary boater education class to mention a few, this was absolutely the best and most informative event that I’ve ever experienced.  Trust me when I say that I was truly humbled to be in the company of this awesome group of folks!  NAWAC members from the greater Houston area, Galveston County, and a couple of folks from as far away as Austin and Glen Rose were in attendance.

 

Guest Chanell Okoro awaiting to place a face shield
over the "victim" to give a couple of breaths while
Travis Lawrence finishes 30 chest compressions ...
which is the current standard for administering CPR.

     Our mornin’ began with CPR & AED trainin', and then moved-on to cover some basic precautions which one may encounter while off-trail hikin’ … which I like to call “doin’ my time in the grime”.  There’s so much that can happen to folks out there in them woods; simple mistakes can become life threatinin’ situations in a very short period of time.  And with the trainin’ that the NAWAC went through this weekend, I feel confident that we will have each other’s backs and would stand a much better chance of survivin’ some of these unforeseen circumstances.  I’ve personally done some pretty stupid things out there in them woods … and I now realize that the main danger that I’ve exposed myself to over the past few decades has been goin’ it alone!  Some of the scenarios discussed this weekend really opened my eyes; so in the future, I think I’ll be doin’ my sloughstalkin’ with a buddy or two from here on out.  Remember, there’s a reason people go missin’ out there, and I don’t wanna end-up bein’ a dang statistic!  If you happen to be in remote or rugged terrain and break somethin’ or have a traumatic injury, can you make it out?  Or, if you’re with someone else and things go south, can they depend on you for their survival?  Trainin’ such as this could increase the odds significantly!

 

     Some of the other topics that the group covered were basic patient assessment, basic wound care in the field, anything from bleedin’ wounds to shock and thoracic injuries … or sucking chest wounds.  Did y’all know that yer driver license and some duct tape can possibly help save someone with a collapsed lung?  This creates a one-way valve; any port in a storm, y’all … and these folks really know how to think outside the dang box!  The group covered everything from long-bone splinting, usin’ both natural and man-made materials, to abdominal injuries as severe as evisceration!  God forbid, someone trips and falls on a Cypress knee, or an arrow with a broad-head … or gets gut-shot; like I said, much can happen out there in them woods.  We learned not to try to push the exposed bowel back into the wound … ‘cause this could introduce further contaminants that could infect the wound.  We also learned to keep the bowel moist; lots of gauze and a bottled water mixed with a couple of drops of tincture of iodine for sterilization … that is, as long as the patient ain’t allergic to iodine!  Let’s see … our victim has a gaping wound with an exposed bowel, and now infection could be settin’-in due to improper treatment.  To compound matters, the patient is goin’ into anaphylactic reaction to boot … brilliant!  Kinda makes you wonder what that person’s odds of survivin’ are now?  We then discussed the bonuses of knowin’ such things about the folks you’re goin’ to be out in the field with … like personal health issues, any medications they may have taken and allergies.  If you always go prepared; or better yet, (and think about this) if you prepare for failure, you and/or the folks that you are with may stand a much-better chance of makin’ it out to tell about it …

 

     We trained in various ways to secure the patient as well as the immediate area of treatin’ that patient, and how to be aware of and the possibility of stoppin’ any potential threats while treatin’ that patient, movin’ that injured patient or gettin’ ‘em to another area for evacuation.  This phase covered different types of patient carries includin’ make-shift stretchers or usin’ litters.  I had no idea what the Hell a litter was, and to tell y’all the truth, this portion was almost an epic fail for me, as well as the volunteer patient and the five other NAWAC team members tryin’ to carry him!  An evacuation litter is basically a packable “go-stretcher” with six nylon-webbed loops used as handles to lift and carry someone on.  It looked simple enough until I lifted; and after carryin’ ‘em for several yards I soon realized that my weddin’ band on my left hand and the puzzle-ring on my right were cuttin’ into my friggin’ fingers!  After havin’ to stop twice, and takin’ an awkwardly embarrisin’ break, it took only four of us usin’ a poly-tarp and two 7’ to 8’ lengths of 3” to 4” in diameter pieces of tree-falls to transport that same patient with ease!  Hell, I only used one hand; needless to say, I had already removed my rings, which I will not be wearin’ anytime soon, or at least ‘til the swellin’ goes down.  I usually don’t wear ‘em out in the field, and should have had the sense enough to remove them.  But in two infamous quotes from Forrest Gump, sometimes … “I’m not a smart man …” and, “Stupid is as stupid does.”  In an emergency situation, everyone needs to not only stay calm, but think things through to avoid any further injuries to the victim, the team or themselves.

 

     We then discussed medication administration for various illnesses and injuries that could be encountered in a wilderness environment.  Part of this included allergic reactions and trainin’ with an EPI pen, which is an injectable dose of epinephrine in case you or one of your team members goes into anaphylactic shock.  Anaphylaxis could be caused by anything from an insect bite or sting to havin’ an allergic reaction to a plant, food or medicine.  Symptoms such as severe itchin’ or rash, swellin’, a drop in the patient’s blood pressure and respiratory failure could happen within’ a matter of minutes.  Been there, done that!  Even though I am deathly afraid of needles, I have religiously carried an EPI pen for several years now.  I’d much rather inject myself than shut-down & die any day!  In my opinion, no first aid kit is complete without one …

 

This is not the smartest way to secure
a copperhead; I've been guilty of such
stupidity over the years!  Mowin' in just
flip-flops ain't too dang smart, either! 

     The group also covered bites, stings and poisonous plants … and the identification of the culprits such as ticks, spiders, scorpions, bees & wasps and venomous snakes.  We learned that your driver license can also be used to remove an insect’s stinger, and usin’ suction for snake and spider bites is a big friggin’ no-no!  Back in the day, you were supposed to try and dispatch and bring the snake with you to the hospital; but, the times … they are a changin’!  We learned that antivenin is now pretty much-well the same “cocktail” for all North American snakes.  And, I learned not to use my trusty X-ACTO to cut into or drain spider bites.  Been there, done that as well!  Hours after the bite, I attempted to drain it.  I had then soaked the wound in a hydrogen peroxide, isopropyl alcohol mix, in which I had pre-heated.  I applied this “thunk-up, redneck liquid remedy” via a full shot-glass turned upside down directly onto my wound.  When I told this to the group … one member rolled their eyes and exclaimed, “Nooo!”  Well, at this point y’all can either go back to my Forrest Gump references, or maybe think of that Roger Alan Wade tune, “If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough.”

 

Travis Lawrence looks on as NAWAC Investigators
Gene Bass and Brad McAndrews attend to Chanell
Okoro's immediate needs in this field assessment.

     The last items we touched-on were bandaging; one member wrapped another’s ankle while discussin’ proper immobilization; his technique was precise … just like everything else that we learned throughout our weekend of training.  We covered several different types of wraps and splinting, and wrappin’ materials such as ACE bandages or even improvised materials such as duct tape (over-the-clothing).  I am still taken-back on what-all and how much we learned in such a short period of time, and I for one really, did not want this course to end.  All of these amazin’ folks made one Hell of a team, and it made you appreciate what all first responders can do for us when the chips are down.  And remember, some of the attendees served our country in one capacity or another, and helped to try and save our fallen heroes; that's right ... the ones who gave all.  Please keep these folks in mind this upcomin’ Memorial Day weekend ...

 

     There has been talk of another class possibly this fall, so if any of y’all are interested … I’ll be sure and give y'all the heads-up.  The best way to keep up with any future activities is by gettin’ involved with the North American Wood Ape Conservancy.  I cannot tell y’all enough what a fine and fun bunch of folks they are!  This is the most professional team of field researchers and serious outdoor enthusiasts that I’ve ever encountered.  Period.  And, they are a non-profit organization, just tryin’ to find out some answers on what this mystery animal actually is.  So, how do I know so much about the NAWAC, y’all may ask?  ‘Cause I finally stepped-up to the plate and joined ‘em!  You’d be amazed at who-all they are and what-all they are about.  These folks are the real deal, and bring serious field research up to the next level.  So if any of y’all would like to know more, hit their Web site at http://woodape.org … or follow ‘em on Facebook.  So, until next time … y’all have fun and be safe runnin’ ‘round out there in them woods.  And remember … it’s all about survivin’!

Relaxin' ...

A week of kickin'-it on Caddo Lake; y'all
 remember ... home is where you make it.

     Howdy, y’all!  It’s been awhile, but I just got back from a week in the swamp with my beautiful bride and two other couples.  This was one of the most relaxin’ trips we’ve taken in quite some time; we had booked The Gallery at Spatterdock in Uncertain, Texas from Billy & Dottie Carter.  All I can say is that the property was absolutely gorgeous, and we were not disappointed with anything.  Billy & Dottie are wonderful hosts and longtime Uncertain residents; Billy is a fishin’ & swamp tour guide on Caddo Lake, and Dottie is a multi-talented artist who has done all of the decoratin’ for their properties, as well as the lanscapin’ & gardens.  If anyone is lookin’ for a quiet and remote escape, I would highly recommend checkin’ ‘em out at http://www.spatterdock.com/.  We were so impressed with the facilities and amenities that we’ve already booked the same place for a week next year!

 

Ty & "Dad" discussin' whatever at the Wangdoodle ...

     We had met with one couple from Plano, TX and another couple from just outside of Conway, AR who were all college friends of my wife from her University of Central Arkansas days.  We had no agenda other than to enjoy each other’s company with beautiful Caddo Lake as our backdrop.  On our second day there, I had divided us into two groups and ferried everyone for a couple of “swamp tours” via our bass boat.  The lake was quite peaceful durin’ the week with little or no boat traffic.  Each trip lasted about 2½ to 3 hours, and even after a heavy coatin’ of BullFrog SPF 40 … I had pretty much-well fried the tops of my legs & knees.  The temps were in the mid to high 70’s durin’ the day, but got down to as low as 38° each night.  The water level was back up and there was no sign of any giant salvinia … other than its rottin’ remnants in the back of Carter Lake.  Due to the large amounts of these submerged mounds of dead invasive, my engine clogged a few times and I had to abandon my original plan of motoring all the way into Back Lake.  Maybe sometimes, things happen for a reason ...

     There was no moon on this trip, which made my third excursion into the swamp a bit more challengin’.  I took three of our guests on an extended night trip through the swamps beginnin’ about 9:30 P.M. and we did not return until well after 1:00 A.M.  I was both shocked and amazed by the void of wildlife; no bugs, no frogs, no snakes, no coons, no gators, beavers, minx or nutria.  The only wildlife we had witnessed was a couple of bats which swooped through the beam of my remote-controlled GoLight.  Come to think of it, we didn’t even see or hear any barred owls until we returned to Spatterdock.  This was the first time in my 4+ years of swampin’ at night on Caddo that this had happened.  The cold-front most probably had somethin’ to do with it, but it was just downright eerie not seein’ or hearin’ any of the local critters.  I’d love to tell y’all that this may have been due to the possible presence of wood apes, but the overly-dramatic will play no role in this-here blog.  Period.

Dawn patrol! Now, this is what I call mornin' glory ... ain't it cool?

     Even the fishin’ was off for this time of year; and I mean way off!  This could have been in-part due to the overly-stocked bar that we had maintained back at The Gallery, but I’d rather blame it on the cold-front.  The lily pads were just now comin’ up, which was well overdue for late April.  Billy Carter had even said that the unusually cold and extended winter had thrown-off the largemouth bass spawn.  Them Caddo Lake bass were still on their beds and as tight-lipped as a picker on a prime patch of May haw.  On one of the last evenin’s we were there, I had fished alone in Turtle Shell right at sundown, which was one of my regular haunts.  I actually started to hear bullfrogs croakin’ in the distance; so I had thought, why not … I’ll just throw me a large top-water frog.  Hell, I actually got a few blow-ups on that lure, but they were all hittin’ short and not actually takin’ the bait.  The water was both glass-smooth and crystal-clear; as I reared back to make an extended cast … the water directly behind me exploded!  It sounded like someone had rolled a friggin’ bowlin’ ball off of my transom, as I had evidently spooked a very large bass hidin’ just under the ledge of vegetation linin’ that boat road.  Hopefully, she’ll still be lurkin’ ‘round there and hungry on my next trip!

Southern pride in historic downtown Jefferson ...

     On Wednesday, we all loaded-up into our truck and headed for historic Jefferson, Texas … which was only a 30-minute drive from Uncertain.  Upon arrival, only half of the town seemed to be open, as it was not quite “tourist season” yet.  And believe me, with my sunburnt knees blarin’ below the legs of my shorts, flip-flop cladded and wearin’ a t-shirt with my camera hangin’ ‘round my neck, I was the walkin’ epitome of a tourist!   Antiquin’ was hit or miss as maybe every third shop seemed to be open, and most of the museums were closed as well.  I scored a signed copy of Mitchel Whittington’s No Hope! The Story of the Great Red River Raft.  Some of y’all may remember Mitchel from the film, Southern Fried Bigfoot.  About noon, we found one of the best barbecue joints in Texas, Joseph’s Riverport Barbeque.  We were just fixin’ to mow-down on some ribs when one of our friends got some very devastating news; his mother had just passed from complications due to a surgery.  We tried to comfort our friend and his wife as best as we could, and returned to Uncertain to help them pack-up for their departure back to Arkansas.  Even though the drive back to The Gallery was brisk, the mood was somber.  Though our friends and their family had dodged the tornadoes that had plowed through their community just a couple of evenin’s before, life … as well as death still happens.  Our friends and their family will remain in our thoughts and prayers …

"Dad's" lost brew.

     The rest of our trip was spent by the remainin’ two couples just relaxin’.  Our friend from Conway had lost his lucky red Coleman can-cooler, which had blown off the dock while huggin’ an empty Miller Lite can two days prior.  I spied it from the dock … floatin’ on a bed of hyacinth between some bald cypress.  My plan had been to kayak over and get it for him, but due to their early departure, our “group kayak adventure” had never transpired.  I finally retrieved it for him on Thursday mornin’ after fishin’ … via our bass boat and reachin’ it with my trusty push-pole.  My wife and our other two friends from Plano were kickin’-it on the dock when I had returned.  We set the empty can still in its cooler in the middle of our table in effigy, and drank the rest of the day and evenin’ away.  Our other buddy’s wife had retired to The Gallery for an afternoon nap, and I fell asleep on the carpeted stern of our boat beneath the shade of a bald cypress while listenin’ to some Pink Floyd.  My wife and her friend stayed perched on the end of the dock roastin’ in the sun, and I listened to them reminiscin’ their college days as I drifted off.  Just before sunset, I had taken-off one last time for that evenin’ fish back in Turtle Shell.  Damn, that truly was a big bass … I just wish our friend from Conway could have been there with me to witness it.



Listenin' to some Floyd on Turtle Shell; G-man, wish you were here ...

     Friday mornin’ came way too friggin’ soon; even though our check-out was at noon, we were all packed & tidied-up well before 10:00 A.M., so we spent the remainder of our time together visitin’ on the front porch.  We said our goodbyes and departed for home.  This was the first time I had made that entire drive back home from Uncertain with no music.  As my wife read from her Kindle, we conversed from time to time, but our minds seemed to be elsewhere.  Thoughts of our responsibilities at home, the week of work we’d both missed, pickin’ up our boarded beagle Shiner and the anticipation of a school function we’d be attendin’ for the next two evenin’s for our son were all overshadowed by the thoughts of our friends in Arkansas.  I’m sure it would have been a lot more relaxin’ just knowin’ that they were okay, and we hoped they would soon be together with their family durin’ their time of grievin’ and spiritual need.

     Now that we’re back, I won’t be relaxin’ much anytime over the next month or so.  Our son will graduate from high school, and there is much to be done within the next few weeks.  Our house is in need of a good spring cleanin’, the garage needs some carpentry and a good paintin’, the trees & shrubs need prunin’, the gardens & flower beds need weedin’ as well as mulchin’ and I’ll need to finish another section of flagstone for our back patio prior to our son’s graduation party.  I’ll have to wait ‘til mid-June before I can even think of returnin’ to Caddo Lake to fish.  Hopefully, I can time that trip for a full-moon with some night-fishin’ and return for that monster-sized bass that I’d spooked back in Turtle Shell.  And maybe I can finally make it via paddlin’ my kayak to Back Lake and see if I can find any possible sign of wood apes.  Or better still, maybe I’ll just hit The Big Thicket for some sloughstalkin’ with a friend or two from the NAWAC.  Until then, I hope all is well with you & yours and maybe everyone else can do some relaxin’ … y’all take care!

Speedin' ...

     Howdy do!  Any of y'all out there got a lead foot?  I'm guilty.  I try my hardest to obey every letter of the law, but I just cain't seem to ease off that skinny little pedal on the right side of my floorboard.  Now, I ain't one of them idiots that do a buck-twenty just for the Hell of it, but I definitely drive speed limit (or just a hair above) the majority of the time.  My motto is; slower, lower life-forms keep right.  Period.  The left lane is for passin' only, and I ain't one of them people that feel the need to hog the left lane.  If you happen to come flyin' up my ass, I'll move over.  But if you're doin' slower than the flow of traffic in the left lane, you're not only pissin' me off but you're breakin' the law!

 

     I've had my share of speedin' tickets over the years, but I've mellowed in my old age.  I ain't one to try to beat the ambulance to the wreck, so to speak ... but I am guilty of speedin'.  However, the last 3 tickets I've had have all been warnin's, and all 3 of those were from DPS. That's right ... the Texas Department of Public Safety.  Now, don't get me wrong; I ain't braggin' 'cause they were warnin's.  Why, you may ask?  Probably 'cause I show some respect and some snap, and let these guys do their jobs.  Seriously, y'all ... if you get lit-up, it's for a good reason.  These folks are just doin' their jobs, so if you show 'em some respect and make it easy for 'em they just might cut you some slack.  And the state trooper that we encountered on our last road trip actually gave us a bonus ...

 



NAWAC Investigator Andy Stewart had never been to Uncertain, Texas or Fouke, Arkansas ... so off we went!

     A buddy of mine and fellow North American Wood Ape Conservancy member Andy Stewart were headin' to the NAWAC trainin' camp outside of Gilmer, Texas a few weeks back.  I had taken the day off, and had some business to take care of in Uncertain, Texas.  Andy had never been to Uncertain or to Caddo Lake, so I felt obliged to show him around.  Come to find out ... Andy had never been to Fouke, Arkansas either.  Really?  Well, Fouke was only an hour or so north of Uncertain, so off we went.  I took him through Doddridge and to Jonesville, where the original "monster" sightin's were first recorded in the 1930's & 40's.  After toolin' around on some backroads, I took him into Fouke.

 

     The Monster Mart has had one Hell of a facelift since the last time I was there (about 25-years ago) so I felt obliged to do the tourist-thing and have a look-see.  We walked around, took some pictures outside and then headed back to Texas towards Gilmer.  We were on a little one-lane comin', one-lane goin' hilly stretch of road in Cass County and I was lookin' at my directions.  Yeah, I got a Tom-Tom but I don't trust it ... and that woman's voice drives me friggin' nuts!  And yeah, I'm a techno-tard and would rather trust a map that ain't digital.  I had just topped a hill when I saw the state trooper on the left shoulder as he lit my hapless-ass up!

 

     I immediately put my right blinker on and pulled over ... put my hazards on, rolled my windows down, turned my vehicle off and put my hands on the wheel.  The trooper approached and immediately asked me for my driver license.  I replied, "For your protection as well as mine, I've got a loaded Beretta in my front right pocket, and a loaded .40 cal. in the center console.  Now ... I'm goin' to very slowly and carefully reach into my back right pocket ... in which there is also a pocket-knife, and slowly hand you my license."  Well ... after that ice-breaker, I handed him my concealed handgun license holder which also contains my driver license.

 

     The trooper held the black leather bi-fold with the gold-finished NRA medallion on the front and asked, "What's this?"  I replied, "It's my CHL holder ... open it; it contains both my driver license and my CHL in the same holder."  He opened it and said, "Cool ... this is neat! I've never seen one of these."  I explained that he could get one off of the NRA Web site for around twenty bucks.  He said, "Mr. Landrum, the reason I pulled you over is because you were speedin'."  I replied, "The speed limit is 60 mph." and then quickly asked him, "How fast was I goin'? 65?"  He said, "No sir, you were goin' a bit faster than that. Where y'all headed?"  I explained to him that I had left League City well before sun-up, picked up Andy in Porter and then we had stopped in Uncertain for a bit, went to check-out Fouke and were now headed to Gilmer to camp on some private property with friends.

 

     The trooper could plainly see all of our gear in the back of the cab, and said, "I'll be right back." and walked around to the back of the truck and started writin'.  I frowned at Andy and in my best Scooby-Doo impression cried, "Ruh-roh, Raggy! This trip just got expensive. Looks like I'm fixin' to get me a ticket!"  Andy tried to assure me I wasn't goin' that fast, but I was payin' more attention to my directions as well as the road ... and not my speedometer.  The trooper came back after a few minutes and said, "Mr. Landrum, I'm just goin' to give you a warnin', but you need to slow it down. And I just have to ask ... what's a guy from League City, Texas doin' goin' Uncertain, Texas, then goin' to Fouke, Arkansas and then goin' to Gilmer, Texas all in one day?  Are y'all some kind of Bigfoot investigators?"

 

     There was an immediate awkward silence ... but I kept my composure and replied, "Well, not in the respect you may be thinkin' of; and, definitely not as in the sorts of people you might've seen on TV ... runnin' around through the woods at night screamin' and bangin' on trees!" He chuckled as I immediately assured him that we were both just very interested in this animal, and were very curious as to what kind of critter it might be.  His demeanor went from smilin' to serious, and he then dropped a friggin' bomb on us.

 

     He said, "Mr. Landrum ... let me tell y'all what; I was trainin' a young huntin' dog one night in the Sulphur River Bottoms, and somethin' was followin' me through them woods. I would walk and it would walk; I would stop and it would stop. I would pick-up the pace and it would keep up with me. The dog was freakin'-out and it got to the point that I was trippin' over it, so I ended up pickin' it up and carryin' it.  I found a huntin' blind and sat in there 'til the sun come up.  Now, let me tell y'all what; I will go into a house or a trailer where I know a man has a gun ... but I will not go back in them bottoms. Period."

 

     The hair on my arms as well as the back of my neck was stickin' straight-up.  I looked at Andy, whose jaw had pretty-much well dropped, and then back at the trooper.  After an awkward silence, I thanked him for sharin' that with us, as well as the warnin'.  Actually, it wasn't awkward ... I pretty-much well felt kinda justified!  I shook the man's hand and then we departed.  As he walked away, I started-up the truck, put my blinker on and proceeded to Gilmer.  As the trooper disappeared after toppin' the next hill, I looked at Andy and said, "Holy shit! You just can't make that kinda stuff up!"  And immediately Andy replied, "That guy just validated the whole reason that we are headed to Gilmer!"  Kinda makes you think, don't it?  Could he have just been funnin' us?  I seriously doubt it, 'cause he was dead friggin' serious.  I'm just as serious tellin' about Our Encounter, 'cause there's definitely somethin' runnin' 'round out there in them woods!  Now ... y'all just think about that ... and, y'all come back now, you hear?