Exploitin' ...

     Howdy!  What's up with all of these new "Bigfoot" and cryptozoology themed shows?  Have the networks lost their friggin' minds? This post has been a long time comin' and I feel that I'm long overdue for postin' a good rant.  My ADD and mini-man madness has kicked-in, so put yer pads on, in or whatever ... 'cause here it comes!  What in the Hell is goin' on with documentaries, and namely ... what I can only describe as "Surreality TV"?  As if cryptozoology wasn't already considered fringe science, it seems that its reputation has gone off the deep end due to extreme exploitin' by a few cable television networks.  For example, what used to be considered a channel that featured awesome science & nature documentaries has stooped in attempts to get its audience duped; as in, to watchin' somethin' that is a blatant friggin' dramatization of misinformation.  And not just once ... but twice!  The sad thing was, that durin' both of these "megalo-maid" broadcast fiascos ... ratings were goin' through the friggin' roof.  So, what does that say about us?  Even though we didn't really discover anything, it says a lot about what's drivin' the science of documentaries these days.



The late Robert Guenette was one of the first

documentary directors to introduce newsreel-
styled documentaries in the 60’s, and directed
the unforgettable National Geographic Specials
TV series.  In 1975 he wrote and directed The

Mysterious Monsters narrated by Peter Graves,

which was the first movie to feature the historic

Roger Patterson footage of a “Bigfoot”.  I had the

privilege of viewin’ this flic back in the day as a

teenager at the old Martini Theatre in Galveston,

Texas.  Incidentally, I had also come across and

purchased his book by the same title a year later.

     Another network, which used to be my go-to channel for animal documentaries has been lookin' for "Bigfoot" for the past few years.  I'm sorry, but does anyone think that they are actually goin' to find anything at the end of one of those shows?  Not no, but Hell no!  I sincerely apologize to some of the cast members, but I calls 'em likes I sees 'em.  Yeah, that's right; I said it ... 'cause if anyone had actually ever found anything, it would have been national-friggin'-news long before anyone would have time to film a dang TV show!  The sad part about this kinda crap is that it hurts the integrity of anyone doin' serious field research on these mystery animals.  Thanks to programs like this, just try gettin' permission to access private properties or sendin' in an unknown blood, hair or tissue sample to a lab for analysis.  Good luck; 'cause unless you got the jack, there ain't goin' to be no hearin' back from most landowners or reputable facilities.  The whack-factor is closin' doors just about as fast as it's closin' minds ...

     And now, some of these offshoot networks are really friggin' reachin' with these groups of larger-than-life wannabes who are huntin' animals that are so ridiculous that one has to wonder what the producers were on when they came-up with this crap.  Your destination ... America, is a repetitive ride through the lower intestines of television.  First of all, please God tell me that none of these idiot's weapons are actually loaded!  I seriously doubt it, 'cause they'd have a hard time gettin' these productions insured.  Normally, this channel airs some fairly decent outdoor shows; however, the ones that I'm referrin' to here ain't anywhere near legit.  Second, I'll admit that I'm fat, but some of these corn-fed chunks have abso-friggin'-lutely no business runnin' around gettin' overly excited in a dangerous environment.  Bottom line is, somebody's goin' to get friggin' hurt.  Period.  God forbid, if anyone has to haul one of these porkers outta the woods to get some medical attention, they might think twice before castin' such portly characters!  And third, not all of us southerners are stereotypes, and I'm sure that most Alaskans ain't runnin' around in animal skins either.  I think the premise for the majority of these lame-ass shows is, the need for a serious friggin' intervention!

     What happened to the days of true documentaries?  Someone would do a study and broadcast their findings, showing the actual field research and the science behind the find.  I pray that when a wood ape is (finally) properly and scientifically documented, that this animal and subject matter is treated with some dignity.   No overly dramatic musical score scripted with the narrator misrepresentin' the folks that actually did their time in the grime!  I'd like everyone to understand that cryptozoology is simply the study of legendary or undiscovered animals in order to evaluate the possibility or proof of their existence.  In light of what folks are viewin' now, the perception is that we are a bunch of friggin' goofs runnin' around at night in the woods ... screamin' and bangin' on trees.  So, stop with all the exploitin' already; I'm sure that the majority of these network's audiences would much rather view the science and actually learn somethin' for their 47-minutes of television viewin' ...

 

     Let's take a look back at a another of the classics.  What gave me an interest to see The Mysterious Monsters was the release of an earlier documentary-styled film, Big Foot: Man or Beast that I'd seen in 1972.  Bein' only 10 years-old at the time, I never fully appreciated what-all this historical film documentation had to offer until I recently found it on DVD.  If I'm not mistaken, I saw this at the old Martini Theatre as well, prior to seein' The Legend of Boggy Creek.  I had no more interest or appreciation for this genre of film back then than I did for any others at that time; I just liked 'em!  But after havin' our own encounter, I now view these screen gems in an entirely new light.  I think that the new guard needs to take a good hard look at some of these older films, and maybe they wouldn't have to reach so far to try and produce a quality program ... right?  I think that's a wrap.  Y'all come back now, you hear?

Arguin' ...

     Howdy, y’all!  47 years ago today, on October 20, 1967 … Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin rode into Bluff Creek and filmed an animal that has yet to be properly scientifically documented.  Fact is, folks have been arguin’ for almost half a century as to what they had actually filmed.  Now, I don’t wanna insult anyone’s intelligence, but almost any outdoorsman who has seen this film should be able to distinguish the difference between a live animal and a man in a friggin’ costume.  Period.  I ain’t goin’ to beat a dead horse for this entry by postin' my personal opinions as to why I deduce that this film was of a real, livin’ critter.  What I am goin’ to suggest is that for anyone … especially the skeptics, to read the book When Roger Met Patty by William Munns.  Afterwards, if skeptics still wanna do some arguin’ ... I would in all probability conclude that those individuals might just be friggin' remedial.  Please excuse my tone, y’all; I'm not tryin' to be mean, but ... I just calls ‘em likes I sees ‘em!

 

     I received this folio on July 30 of this year and have read it twice … as in all 476 pages of it, includin’ the other 15 pages of citations, index and bibliography, etc. thereafter.  If you haven’t already done so, please check-out this fascinatin’ book!  Munns has painstakingly and thoroughly covered all of the bases, while not crossin’ the line with any bat-sh¡t crazy theories or conjectures.  So whether you are a bona fide skeptic or just sittin’ on the fence about the validity of this historic piece of film footage, this casebook is a must-read.  Maybe then, folks who have actually read his analysis might do a bunch-more researchin’ and a lot less arguin’ … so please give it a look-see, and y’all come back now, you hear?

Reckonin' ...

Yours truly openin' The Bowman Lodge gate ...

     Howdy!  My wife and I just got back from a 1,000 mile round-trip to attend the 2014 North American Wood Ape Organizational Retreat, held at the exquisite Bowman Lodge in northeastern Oklahoma!  The retreat was a recap of the North American Wood Ape Conservancy (NAWAC) field investigations over the past few years, which gave new members like myself some insight as to the depth of our study and the direction we will pursue in the upcomin’ year.  While I won’t ever divulge any information here that might compromise our study, y’all can visit the NAWAC Web site, Facebook page or listen to Brian Brown’s upcomin’ podcast on The Bigfoot Show Blog for more details.  Now a few months back ... I was asked by a NAWAC board member to write an article concernin’ why I had decided to join a group; specifically, why I chose the NAWAC … and to further explain my personal conflict with the kill/no kill stance and the reason that I now fully support the takin’ of a type specimen.  Any of y’all who have read this blog know that it details my personal accounts and the experiences that I’ve had since actually havin’ an encounter with an animal that has not yet been properly scientifically documented.  What follows is the meat from the article I’d submitted to the NAWAC … with a few taters thrown-in along the way!

 

     Growin’ up in the south, huntin’ and fishin’ has always been a big part of my life.  I reckon that I’d much rather spend a day in the woods or on a body of water than almost anywhere else.  I also grew up readin’ about paleontology, archeology and anything concernin’ wildlife biology.  And I can remember seein’ the Patterson Gimlin film on the national news, as well as readin’ about it in several publications, such as my uncle’s February 1968 issue of Argosy or my grandfather’s January 1969 Reader’s Digest.  I can also remember watchin’ several documentaries and movies in the early 70’s on the subject.  However, due to my personal outdoor experiences, I pretty-much well dismissed the fact that there could be an actual animal such as this in my neck of the woods.  I reckon that I fell into skepticism; but only to the point that, because I personally hadn’t ever encountered such an animal, it probably wasn’t very likely that our local flora & fauna supported them.  Wow … how blind, ignorant, arrogant and absolutely wrong I was!

Our gracious host Paul Bowman addresses the NAWAC members and
guests after breakfast, which began our day of recap and plannin' ...

     My son and I had our encounter in June of 2009 and much has changed since then.  I immediately tried to read and view everything that I could on the subject, even reviewin’ the publications and documentaries that I had already seen many years in the past.  I’ve found that the internet is hit and miss; I’ve learned that much of what is posted on the Web is exaggerated and even those stories that I had read in the past were overly-elaborated to the point of bein’ over-dramatic.  I had found several Web sites where there were groups of amateur researchers; some looked legitimate while some preyed upon the novice, and others just flat-out breached beyond the boundaries of the mentally stable!  But upon viewin’ an episode of MonsterQuest, I remember seeing a group called the Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy (TBRC) who appeared so professional and sincere about their field research that I actually contacted a member via e-mail, and can remember tellin’ him that I thought they were “the real deal”.  Upon further investigation, I decided to attend a conference in Tyler, Texas in September of 2010.  That conference opened-up a new door for me.

     By that point, I was already investigatin’ the area of our encounter.  I had become so obsessed with tryin’ to find out what this animal was that most of my normal outdoor activities were ignored.  I started purchasin’ equipment and game cameras, as well as spendin’ an inordinate amount of time burnin’-up the highway between home and the area of our encounter.  By this time I had made a few acquaintances over the internet, and had hoped to network with these folks to find out if I was approachin’ my amateur research properly.  This is when I started to find out that there are no experts in this field.  Period.  And this is when I learned that there were basically several different species of folks in the “Bigfoot” community.  I had pretty-much well decided that if I wanted to learn anything, I might be better-off goin’ solo.  In several months of communications with one member of the TBRC, I had considered becoming a member at some point in time, but my personal life wouldn’t allow me the time to commit.  I don’t believe in doin’ somethin’ half-assed, so I did not pursue the issue any further.

Daryl Colyer converses with NAWAC team members about past events
and future strategies concerning our ongoing study of the wood apes.

     My main goal was to photograph the animal that my son and I had encountered.  I wasn’t lookin’ for fame nor was I lookin' for any financial gain; I simply wanted to know exactly what type of animal that we had encountered.  I began to photograph and document our trips to the area, but soon realized that I was spendin’ more and more time away from home, and money that could’ve been used for family needs.  My son and I had decided to sleep out in the area of our encounter, with no fire and all of the recordin’ equipment that we owned at the time.  Even though we shared a very interestin’ night with the barred-owls, coyotes and somethin’ unknown that had passed through our camp site, we had nothin’ definitive to show for it.  Afterwards, I spent even more time out there alone; I would scout durin’ the day and roam the sloughs & swamps at night via my bass boat or my kayak.  I went to a second TBRC conference in Tyler, and again had the urge to soak-up anything that this group had to offer.  But somethin’ didn’t feel right on that trip; I felt more like an outsider or some rabid fan that was shunned by the stars.  I had gone as far as to prepare a booklet and CD full of photos and audio documentin’ our encounter as well as my amateur research for one of the keynote speakers, but heard nothin’ further from that person for my efforts.

     It was about this time that I started hearin’ the rumblin’s of the pro-kill/no-kill controversy.  I was raised a hunter and an angler; so if I was going to harvest an animal, it was for food.  Period.  Even though I was a more of a sport angler … practicin’ catch and release long before it became chic, I was not by any means a trophy hunter either.  I thought that if this animal was so rare, why kill it?  Just document it.  Surely if one were to get a good enough photograph, the proof would speak for itself; but in these days of digital photo manipulation and rampant hoaxin’, maybe not.  Bein’ a graphic designer and bein’ very proficient in Photoshop, I could analyze most photos both visually and digitally and immediately decide if somethin’ was real or not.  So in a way, it made perfect sense to harvest a type specimen.  And after readin’ John Bindernagel’s The Discovery of the Species, it seemed that the only way to prove to the masses that this animal is real was to give the scientists somethin’ definitive … as in a body.  And afterwards, maybe the remainin’ population of this animal could be protected.  But, could I pull the trigger if I was blessed enough with another encounter with one of these animals?  For example, if I felt threatened?  Absolutely.  But to hunt this animal just to prove it was real?  That was a very hard question for me to ponder.  Could I look an intelligent being in the eyes and end its life?  Obviously, this animal is very intelligent to have evaded all of us for so dang long.

Our gorgeous view of an Oklahoma sunset as seen from the back porch of The Bowman Lodge ...

     I then read on another Web site that someone from the TBRC had shot at and possibly wounded one of these animals.  The “Bigfoot” community was up in friggin’ arms, and I soon learned from this situation where the term “Bigfootery” had most probably come from!  I couldn’t believe some of the things that were said; but soon after, the TBRC posted a rebuttal to all of the drama that most of the “Bigfoot” community was stirrin’-up over this incident.  I was very impressed by the way that this matter was addressed by the group, and it really opened my eyes to how frenzied the masses became over this animal that has not been proven to even exist.  Hell, I know it’s real!  So close … and yet, instead of realizin’ that this group has been tryin’ to provide definitive proof, they are persecuted by their so-called peers.  I removed quite a few sites from my favorites after that fiasco, and it made me realize that some folks are really both paltry as well as petty.  Sad …

     I continued to socialize with a few folks in the “Bigfoot” community, but in time that bit me more times than steppin’ on a cottonmouth.  The last straw was early in 2013, and I decided to quit interactin’ with “Bigfoot” groups in general.  The last thing I wanted was to be sentenced to death by association with folks in the lunatic fringe.  I did continue to correspond, however with someone who was a great help in the beginning of my amateur research, and actually listened or answered questions when I was in need of advice.  This person was also a member of the TBRC, now known as the NAWAC.  Shortly thereafter, I started this blog … which is my creative release and an escape from my daily grind.  I turned my amateur research documentation into somethin’ fun, but kept on a straight path and didn’t exaggerate or overly elaborate.  Even though I tend to stray from the subject from time to time, I promised myself I wouldn’t delve into the world of “Bigfootery”.  It was through my correspondence with this member and surfin’ through the NAWAC’s Web site that I stumbled upon an event that I decided to volunteer for.

     Through that day of volunteer work, I really began to feel the true worth of this group.  And afterwards, I got to socialize with a few of the members and share some experiences out in the field … which I like to call “doin’ my time in the grime!”  I listened to their accounts as well, and was amazed at what-all we had in common.  I seemed to kind-of just fit right in, and realized that these folks actually were the real-deal.  They were genuine, organized and were truly on a mission … not some pipe-dream.  No arm-chair researchers or wannabes; this was an actual team.  Soon after, I mulled over whether or not I could add some worth to their effort.  It didn’t take long for me to realize, well … of course I can, because we share a common goal.  We all just want to know more about this animal that is now bein’ referred to as the North American wood ape.  So I decided to contact the buddy that I had corresponded with over the last couple of years and join.  And I’m very confident that I’ve made the right decision!



The NAWAC Training Camp held in Gilmer, Texas back in March.

     I reckon that the real deal-breaker for me was attendin’ the group’s annual training camp last March; I learned so much in such a short period of time.  It was such a wonderful experience being with like-minded individuals that all worked together as a team.  I was absolutely humbled by the variety of professionals who came from so many different backgrounds to attend this event.  And after hearin’ some of the accounts from the other members, I cannot begin to tell y’all how strongly I feel that this is one of the most important things that have happened to me since becoming involved with this phenomenon.  Please realize that I didn’t choose to have an encounter with this animal, but I chose to become a member of the North American Wood Ape Conservancy.

     I now recognize that this group will most probably be responsible for (finally) properly and scientifically documentin’ this mystery species.  And I now understand that to do this, it will take harvestin’ a type specimen.  Period.  As a member of this team, I reckon that we may finally get some closure on exactly what this mystery animal is, and then move on to the next step … which will be the protection of this species and its habitat.  I now strongly feel that this will be the right course of action; because, if the goal of this group was just to “bag one” for “braggin’ rights” … I reckon that y’all wouldn’t be readin’ this-here entry.  Period.  So until next time, be safe out there in them woods ... and, y’all come back now, you hear?

Thanks!

     Howdy ... I just wanted to tell all of my readers thanks!  I started this blog one year ago, and what a long, strange trip it's been.  I've met a lotta cool folks and done a buncha new things over the last year.  And even though I haven't found any definitive evidence of the animal that my son and I had encountered waltzin' through an East Texas swamp ... I've had a friggin' blast out there lookin'!

This was entering Carter Lake from Big Cypress back in June of 2010 ... what a long, strange trip it's been!

     Thanks to y'all, I now have a fairly moderate, steady readership ... and a very sane one at that; no lunatic fringe and no haters.  I've purposely stayed away from junkin'-up this site by addin' ads or sellin' stuff.  Fact is, I really don't wanna be known as a dang click-whore!  This blog, otherwise known as the outlet for "the noise in my head" actually comes from the heart.  The benefit I get from doin' this is not a monetary one.  The relationships that I've built with folks over the last year cannot be bought or sold.  Period.




My only significant find in the five years since our encounter on Horse
Island; only somethin' with hands could've bent & twisted this saplin',
which was slightly larger than I could get my hand around.  This odd
limbtwist was found on a game trail off of Smith's Slough while I was
out servicin' my game cams on that fateful day that I got friggin' lost.
It was very fresh, and even though I'm not claimin' it was the work of
a wood ape, it was significant enough to catch my eye. Primates have
been known to mark trails in this manner, but after scoutin' around, I
did not find any tracks or any other limbtwists within' 100 yards.  As a
matter of fact, I've never found any tracks out there, other than deer,
hogs, coyotes, etc.  My son found and filmed a bear track the day that
we set-up camp to sleep out there.  Gettin' back to the limb, I noticed
that there were no scrapes or rubs around this saplin' ... which might
have concluded that it was the work of a deer.  Otherwise, I got zip ...

     No regrets; but, as previously stated, when I started this blog ... I had promised myself that I would only report the facts as far as my sloughstalkin' goes, and stay out of the world of "Bigfootery".  Well ... that didn't friggin' happen!  My mini-man madness kicks-in every once in a while, and I've pecked-out a good rant or two.  It's hard not to poke fun as long as you understand that folks are laughin' at you, too!  Even though I try to keep things humorous, I've maintained the promise to myself to keep it real.  I research an undocumented animal; but, am I unbalanced?  Hmmm, maybe.  Them stacks of BassPro or Cabela's catalogs that some folks claim that I hafta sit on just to see over the steerin' wheel of my truck might shift every once and a while, so deal with it.  I do ...

     Those of you who have been featured in this blog have never called me out, 'cause y'all know that I calls 'em like I sees 'em; no drama and no bullsh¡t.  And if sh¡t can happen, it has for this hapless knuckle-head!  Storms, mechanical failures and gettin' lost just come with the territory.  And there's some of y'all who are prob'ly very friggin' thankful that I've skipped some of those details of our antics out in the field.  Sometimes, what happens out there in them woods don't necessarily stay in the woods, 'cause some situations are just life-lessons learnt. Your comments are always welcomed, but please continue to keep the subject matter "PG-13".  No friggin' F-bombs.  Period.  If you feel the need to use expletives, be creative and maybe more of y'all's comments might just get published (i.e., Alt + 0161 goes a long way when typin' "sh¡t" ... ;)

     Thanks again, never give up and keep on grindin'!  The truth is out there, and hopefully sometime soon one of these mystery animals will finally be properly scientifically documented.  Yeah, that was a shout-out ... so, go team!  Whether you are an amateur field researcher, a naturalist, a conservationist, a field biologist or a "Bigfootologist" ... y'all keep on doin' what you do.  Your time in the grime is greatly appreciated!  Hopefully, we'll all learn a thing or two real soon.  Carry on, be safe, God bless and Godspeed ...

Wonderin' ...

     Howdy, y’all … it’s been awhile since my mini-man madness has kicked-in and I posted a good rant.  I try and stay out of the world of “Bigfootery” and the trappin’s of callin’ folks out.  I'd much rather be known as the Oldsloughstalker and not some Web-trollin' trash-talker, even though I can talk some smack with the best of 'em.  I also believe in Karma … and what comes around, goes around, so I try not to intentionally stir the pot.  But I was just wonderin’ … when in the Hell did “Bigfoot” get tangled-up with UFOs or the paranormal?  Now, don’t y'all go hittin' the Back button; nobody get excited, 'cause I ain't tryin' to get anyone's panties in a knot.  What my quandary is ... is that, here we all are, just tryin’ to figure-out exactly what this mystery animal is (and yes, it’s a flesh & blood animal) and yet ... I keep readin’ these accounts about folks who are seein’ mysterious balls of light, floatin' and glowin' orbs or “Bigfoot” gettin’ beamed-down from a UFO!  And then ... there's the shape-shifters and spirit people.  Really?  Well, I’ll be the first to tell ya, I done me a bunch of dang partyin’ thirty some-odd years ago in my art school days.  But in the sorriest of conditions … I ain’t never seen or imagined that I seen anything like that!  Now, I ain’t sayin’ that someone else didn’t see these things … but it kinda makes me wonder what state of mind they was in when they seen ‘em.

 

     For example … a good friend of mine Todd and I were doin' some night fishin’ off the South Jetty of Galveston several years back, and we seen a UFO.  That’s right; I said it ... ‘cause, we seen it!  We had launched the afternoon before, and it was now somewhere ‘round 2:30 A.M. … and in that time-frame, we’d both knocked back (quite) a few beers … as in at least a 12-pack each!  But keep in mind ... ‘specially if the game warden is readin’ this … that we was anchored and didn’t plan on goin’ anywheres ‘til we slept it off.  I was lookin’ up at all the stars and appreciatin’ how absolutely beautiful it was out there, when all of the sudden … I seen it!  It was a very bright point of light, movin’ across the sky from the eastern horizon ... arcin' up and across to the west.  This thing was faster than any aircraft I'd ever seen, but not quite as fast as a shootin’ star ...

 

     I immediately yelled at Todd, “Holy, sh¡t dude … check this out … it’s a friggin’ UFO!”  And Todd replied, “You stupid-ass, there ain’t no such …” as he just about face-planted into the gel-cote ... trippin’ as he saw it too.  He  was prob’ly wonderin' what-all else I'd had to drink until he stumbled from the bow and followed my index finger as I pointed.  Even though it was a dead-calm night, we both just swayed in awe at what the Hell we just saw (three steps forward, two steps back, y’all).  After soberin'-up later that afternoon, I had a hunch that it may have been a satellite or possibly even the space station in orbit. I had called KHOU’s (then) Chief Meteorologist Dr. Neil Frank and told him what we had witnessed.  As matter-of-factly as he could, Dr. Neil excitedly explained to me that what we had seen was actually the space shuttle as it had passed.  Cool!  Man ... that dang-thang could really haul-ass!  But the point I'm makin' here is, until Todd & I were enlightened ... to us, it had been a genuine UFO.  At the time, it was unidentified, it was definitely flyin’ and was obviously an object.  This-here is just a prime example of why I don’t like tellin’ somebody else what they did or did not see.

     Now, when my son and I had Our Encounter with a bipedal, unknown animal in the back of Smith’s Slough … we both knew what we saw.  We didn't know what kind of animal it was, but we knew what it wasn't.  And no, I wasn’t drinkin’ … and yes, I had a witness.  We'd been told by several people ... includin' the game warden, that it was plainly a misidentification.  But contrary to popular belief … it’s kinda hard to miss-identify somethin’ with brownish-gray hair walkin’ on two legs through a slough at 6:30-somethin' in the friggin’ mornin’!  So, did most people say we just saw somethin’ and thought it was somethin’ else … yep.  Did family & friends think I was crazy? Yep-yep!  But, did we ever see any glowin’ orbs or balls of light?  Nope.  Flyin’ Saucers?  Nope.  And did this critter shape-shift into somethin’ else or vanish into thin air?  Not no, but Hell no!  It was a real animal ... walkin’ bipedally through the flooded forest and makin’ a wake.  And the only shiftin’ this critter was doin' was to shift its weight from one foot to the other as it walked off into the thicket.  It vanished alright; as in, it gradually disappeared into the thick, flooded forest while walkin’ on two feet ...


     When I started this blog, I promised myself that I would report only the facts as far as my sloughstalkin' goes, and stay out of the world of "Bigfootery".  Even though I try to keep things humorous, I promised myself that  I would keep it real.  I don't ever wanna be an ass-clown and post a picture of a bear's butt and try to pass it off as a wood ape.  So when I read some of these bat-sh¡t crazy stories on that-there internet or make the mistake of orderin’ the wrong friggin’ book on Amazon Prime … it pretty-much well p¡sses me off!  But at the same time, it keeps me wonderin’ … why in the Hell would someone wanna add a twist to somethin’ that’s already a mystery?  In all my years of sloughstalkin’ and bein’ out in them woods, I've seen some bizarre thangs ... but I ain't never come across no shape-shifters or spirit people.  Some campin' hippies trippin' on hallucinogenics, maybe; but, no balls of light ... no floatin' orbs and no flyin' saucers.  Period.

      And speakin' of the paranormal ... I have recently gone through a personal “exorcism” of sorts; I’ve tried to rid myself of any “Bigfoot” related books or documentaries that have any hint of “paranormal activity”.  I may be different, but I ain't crazy.  Yeah, I may wear a camo Waffle House cap, but just 'cause I ain’t never seen any camouflaged tin-foil on the shelves at my local grocer … don't mean that I ever plan on wearin’ any on my friggin’ head!  Yes ... I'm livin' proof that God has a sense of humor.  But besides the Lord, the only "spirit" I’d ever sensed out there in them woods was on one brisk October day while bowhuntin’ in the Sam Houston National Forest.  After I’d harvested the first deer with my traditional take-down recurve bow … I felt that maybe the spirit of Fred Bear was smilin’ down on me that day.

 

     We do see and hear a buncha strange things out there in them woods; most all of which can easily be identified.  Most nocturnal critters rustlin' in the brush at night are just coons, rootin' hogs or armadillos.  A distant cry is usually just a fox, coyote or barred owl.  And that deep, loud bellowin' roar echoin' through the swamp is usually comin' from a large bull gator.  But somethin' large, brownish-gray & hairy waltzin' through the slough remains a mystery ... for now.  What we'd seen out there in them woods would really blow your mind, especially if you were a seasoned outdoorsman and hadn't ever seen an animal like that before.  Nothin' paranormal about it; that's truly the kind of stuff that keeps me wonderin' ...

Prove it …



The lesser-known "Frame 253" ...
did they stumble on the Bumble?

     Howdy!  How many of y’all out there have actually had an encounter with somethin’ tall, dark & hairy wanderin’ ‘round on two legs out there in them woods?  If you truly have had an experience, can you prove it?  Well, I’ve had an experience … and sad to say, I really couldn’t prove it.  At the time, I was fishin’ with my son … who actually got a much better look at it than I did.  He even had a video camera; but because the foliage was so thick, he couldn’t get focused on the critter to get any footage.  Does that mean that we were mistaken?  Nope.  Does that mean we were hallucinatin’?  Nope.  Does that mean that what we saw just doesn’t exist?  Well, it obviously exists; but in the eyes of skeptics, without the burden of proof ... it obviously doesn’t.  So if we say it’s real but the skeptics say otherwise, here is the real question … why do we have to prove it?  Well, let’s just weigh this question …
 

This was two years ago; I hope Caddo Lake gets a bunch of
snow soon ... and it freezes all that friggin' giant salvinia!

     As much as I’d like to prove it, so far I’ve come up zero!  Four years of scoutin’ and maintainin’ five game-cams in the area of Our Encounter have so far been a bust.  No tracks, no pictures and no video.  Them sloughs & woods around Caddo Lake definitely ain’t sparse … even if you just narrowed-it down to the specific area where we happened upon this critter.  It would be comparable to findin’ your contact lens in an Olympic-sized swimmin’ pool; it can be done, but you’d be pretty-dang lucky at best.  And considerin’ the elusiveness of the quarry, bein’ overwhelmed by the vast area to search and your stick-to-itiveness to find it … it actually is a possible task if you are patient and persistent.



     I can honestly say that I really don’t believe in "Bigfoot".  Really.  I do believe, however … that I know what we saw.  Even though we couldn’t readily identify this animal … it was real, it was there and we experienced it.  But sad to say, we have no physical evidence to prove it.  No video, no photos and nothin' material; sh¡t happens ... oh, well.  So now, let’s weigh the other side of the aforementioned question: can the skeptics actually prove that this animal doesn’t exist?  Nope.  They can’t.  How can someone prove that there cannot possibly be some large, intelligent bipedal hominoids thrivin’ somewhere in the thousands upon thousands of forested, uninhabited acreage on this continent?  Haven't there been many a folk (includin' those of us who have witnessed this mystery animal) who've made a concerted effort to try and prove its existence?  Sure … there’s actually been quite a few.  But I’ll bet you that there ain’t really been much of an effort made by the scores of skeptics for positive proof that it doesn’t exist.

     So can anyone prove it?  C’mon now, y’all remember … folks were once skeptical of gorillas, right?  And I ain’t tryin’ to beat a dead horse, but none of them skeptics have yet to definitively prove that the subject of the Patterson-Gimlin film was a person in a costume.  Now, they’ve attempted to debunk Patty … but none of ‘em has fabricated any sort of costume or suit that looks anything like a livin’ critter!  So … exactly who’s fabricatin’ what?  If the skeptics are gonna say that somethin’ like this can’t possibly exist … then I say that they need to prove it!  Show me the costume or gorilla suit used for the so-called money shot.  No lame attempts, no second-hand hearsay … and no antagonistic costume maker turned carnival-barker tryin’ to make a quick buck.  And since when was Patty a red-head?  Good God ... at least get the friggin’ hair-color color right!

     I’ll admit that I was semi-skeptical of this mystery biped until I witnessed it for myself.  What’s “semi-skeptical” mean, you ask?  Well … let me try to explain.  I’ve been huntin’ & fishin’ since I was six, and until June of 2009 when I actually witnessed one of these critters in the wild … I was pretty much-well on the fence whether I’d been sharin’ them woods with “Bigfoot”.  Now, in my defense … I never thought the existence of such an animal was impossible.  After all, I had witnessed all kinds of different critters, and I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout watchin’ ‘em on National Geographic specials, Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins or Jack Hanna’s guest appearances on The Tonight Show.  I’m talkin’ about runnin’ ‘round out there in them woods and seein’ all manner of nature. But mystery bipeds?  They just weren’t somethin’ I’d ever seen ...

     But I was also one of them kids that had seen almost every kind of science fiction & monster movie ever made.  I collected fanzines ‘cause I wanted to know exactly how "the masters” created the make-up and special effects for these film creatures that I had idolized.  Now, can anyone out there name just one featured-creature that looks anywhere near as authentic as Patty?  I can’t.  The closest I’ve ever seen were them primates in the “Dawn of Man” sequence of 2001: A Space Odyssey.  And 37 years later, even though I loved Peter Jackson’s King Kong, it was CGI.  So, when someone tries to tell me that Patty was a person in a suit … I simply say, prove it.  Really.  And good luck with that ...

     People like myself have been labeled as Bigfoot believers, Bigfoot enthusiasts, or just recently by our friends from across the pond as “Bigfootologists”.  Really?  Well now ... the noun ology is an informal word for some unidentified branch of knowledge.  Hmmm, that’s sort-of interestin’ … I might just take that as a compliment.  Let’s see, I'm kinda informal, and I am seekin’ knowledge on somethin’ that’s definitely unidentified ... cool!  Hell, I kinda like it!  But the fact is, I’m at least tryin’ to figure-out what this critter is.  So I guess that I really don’t mind bein’ labeled … just as long as I ain’t bein’ labeled as a skeptic.  At least I ain’t cynically peein’ in someone’s Cheerios by sayin’ that these animals simply cannot exist!

 

     Now, if I actually believed in that sort of ideology, I’d at least try and definitively prove it!  “Bigfootologists” are tryin'; but the fact is, the skeptics can’t.  This ain’t some Miracle on 34th Street scenario; Kris Kringle ain’t the one on trial here for believin’ he’s Santa.  Come to think about it, most folks may agree that Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer might just be a little far-fetched.  However, I’d be willin’ to bet y’all that Yukon Cornelius might agree that The Bumble may have been based on somethin’ a little more ... tangible.  So as far as I'm concerned, them skeptics can say “Bah, humbug!” all they want; but first … they ought to at least have to prove it!

 

 

     So, I say to all of the amateur field researchers and fellow “Bigfootologists” out there … kudos, y’all!  Given enough time and effort, one of us may soon be able to prove it.  That’s right … definitive proof that what folks have been seein’ for the past couple of hundred years out there in them woods is just an animal.  Proof perhaps, that this critter is simply just a species that we haven’t yet been able to document.  And just because it ain’t yet been documented doesn’t mean that it doesn’t or cannot exist.  And I say to all of them skeptics … y’all just need to grow a pair and get out there!  Really ... actually sweat a little and do some time in the grime to at least attempt to prove to us that it doesn’t exist.  Seriously, if that’s what y’all believe … then get out there and friggin' prove it!  But then again, I might be a little skeptical to think that y’all actually could …

 

To all of you and yours, whether you just believe ... or for those of us who actually know, I hope and pray that y'all have a safe & happy holiday.

Good luck to y'all in all your future endeavors in the upcomin' New Year!

*The photo titled, "Frame 253 ..." is obviously a hoax, and was created while havin' some fun with Photoshop.  The image used of Bluff Creek was found on Google Images, and was obviously taken by someone else.  One would have to assume that it is obviously the iconic frame 352 taken by Roger Patterson, which in all probability is not a hoax and is subject to Copyright.  The Bumble, however, is mine ... posed in the iconic Patty stance ... and photographed by me.  I just wanted to be perfectly clear that The Bumble was not harmed in the process, and currently resides comfortably perched upon our bar ... enjoyin' some holiday cheer!

Old School ...

     Howdy-do; hope all is well with you and yours, and the fall weather has everyone excited.  October has always been a magical month for me; bow season, the tail-end of the bull-red spawn and Halloween are just a few of my favorites for this time of the year!  Even though I haven’t yet bow-hunted ‘cause of that government shut-down, I’ve been shootin’ my recurve in the evenin’s for “therapy”.  Ever since OPERATION: Pull-Out I’ve been gettin’ pretty-dang stir-crazy as far as my lack-of sloughstalkin’ goes.  I really wanted to post a cool story about a buddy of mine from Arkansas … but today is a very special day if you’re a “Bigfoot” enthusiast.  October 20th, 2013 marks the 46th anniversary of the Patterson-Gimlin film.  Yes, Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin saw and filmed an animal that them skeptics have not been able to prove is a hoax.  I have always thought that the PG film was legit; and unless you can prove to me otherwise, I ain’t changin’ my tune … period.

 

Bob Gimlin tells-it like it was
at the 2009 TBRC conference!

     I was five years old, but remember seein’ the PG film on the national news.  I ain’t sh¡ttin’ y’all … I have an incredible memory.  I remember all kinds of stuff on the news; from bombin' North Viet Nam to NASA missions, so I'll rank the filmin' of an unknown biped pretty-dang high.  Hell, when I was five I even remember watchin’ Jonny Quest durin' prime-time, ‘cause it was deemed too violent for Saturday mornin’ cartoons!  I’ve always been a science fiction buff and started collectin’ Famous Monsters of Filmland Magazine in the first grade.  I was 6 years-old and saw 2001: A Space Odyssey in a theater.  The “Dawn of Man” scene was my favorite, but those Hollywood primates didn’t look anywhere as authentic as “Patty”.  I really hadn’t thought much about it ‘til my son and I had our encounter in 2009 and I started readin’ and watchin’ everything I could find on the subject.  If y'all pay close attention to nature, Hollywood ain't really come close to gettin' a man in a costume to look like an "authentic" anything!  And explain to me how someone in a costume and mask is goin' to traverse that kind of terrain without trippin'?  Does anyone out there have the stones to call Bob Gimlin a liar?  I’ve had the privilege of meetin’ Bob twice, and I honestly don’t think he’s tryin’ to bluff anyone about Bluff Creek!



My man-cave "Wall of Fame" ... my poor wife wants
us to have a one of them yard-sales real-dang soon!

     I’m old school, and was one of them kids that mowed yards for extra money.  I spent most of my allowance at the Western Auto on Heddon & Fred Arbogast fishin’ lures, Daisy BB’s, Benjamin pellets & darts and Remington .22 cal. bullets.  If we got to go to a Sears or a Woolworth’s, I’d make a b-line for the Fred Bear bows, Daisy & Benjamin air-guns, the slot-cars and Aurora monster models.  But I always saved enough for Warren magazines and movie tickets; Hell, I prob’ly saw two movies a week … anything from James Bond to Hammer horror Films.  Somewhere in-between ‘72 and ‘73 was a memorable time for me at them theaters; I saw Big Foot: Man or Beast and then The Legend of Boggy Creek.  The latter film made my trips into the woods a little intense, but over the years … maturity blinded me.  Once a boy starts gettin’ a little hair on him, he starts feelin’ invincible.  As a teen, I figured that if somethin’ like “Bigfoot” existed around my neck of the woods, some Coonass would’ve done had a recipe for it!  Ahhh, to be young and stupid …

     In my teens, I could remember huntin’ with my first cousin in the Catahoula National Wildlife Refuge, just off the Little River outside of Jonesville, LA.  I stalked around into some pretty thick stuff … and started gettin’ that feelin’ that I wasn’t alone.  We used to call that the “doo-doo chills” … and wanderin’ around through the kudzu, I definitely got spooked.  I started to parallel the bank of the river to try and get back to our entrance point and meet-up with my cousin.  I can remember hearin’ somethin’ fairly large move off to my right, and as I swung around … caught a glimpse of somethin’ large and brown movin’ up the bank.  I remember it bein’ muscular and looked kinda like the shoulder of a horse, but it was really too-dang thick to tell what kinda animal it was.  This incident has always stuck in my mind ‘cause it had startled me; but I never gave it too much thought … that is, until after our 2009 encounter.  I really don’t think a horse would be out in the middle of nowhere walkin’ up a blanket of kudzu-covered riverbank, but stranger things have happened.  Now I ain’t sayin’ that it was one of them mystery bipeds, but that incident still has me wonderin’ …

     I used to bow-hunt every season until a little over a year after my son was born.  I would walk through them woods alone at 3:30 a.m. and not have a worry in the world.  Neither thoughts of spiders nor big cats concerned me, and never once thought of lookin’-out for any bipedal mystery-critters!  But as much as I loved bein’ out there … it just didn’t seem fair that my beautiful wife was stuck at the house every weekend from October through January with two toddlers.  I think the last straw was one mornin' up in my tree stand, waitin’ for first light ... hearin’ the sounds of wrens, squirrels and other critters startin’ to stir; then, my ADD kicked-in.  I sh¡t-y’all not … I couldn’t get the friggin’ theme from Barney to stop playin’ in my head!  Now if that wasn’t a sign … tell me what was?  Guilt-trippin’ … I decided to do somethin’ that would keep me closer to the house, so I got myself a boat and started to fish more.  At least I could get home in time enough to be a better father and husband.

     I’ve stalked through woods, swamps & flooded timber all over Texas, Louisiana and Arkansas for over forty some-odd years.  And until June 8, 2009 … I’d never thought that I shared the woods with somethin’ like the Fouke monster or the Caddo Critter.  I’ve never been scared of anything out there, except for big cats and poisonous spiders.  Yeah, you pull a gun or a knife on me … and we’ll talk about it; but, if you show me a black widow or a brown recluse … I’ll get into a raggin’-friggin’ sprint and scream like a woman!  No offense, ladies … I got a fairly deep voice; but if you show me a spider, I’ll give you a high-pitched yell that’ll curl your hair!  We got these big brown spiders ‘round our place that build their webs in the evenin’s and drop outta the tree-line.  I’m pretty-dang sure that they’re harmless, but I’ve been known to leap off a movin’ ridin’ mower while screamin’ and make it clear-across the back of our property in just a few strides!

     Lotsa folks like spiders, creepy-crawlies, monsters and such … especially around Halloween!  I love movies, especially monster movies!  I ain’t into them slasher-flicks; I’m old school and stick to the classics.  An acquaintance of mine is an outdoor writer and we share a rabid-fandom for The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  I’ve got models, figurines and vintage magazines … but that boy’s done got himself a Gillman tattoo!  Another monster fan that I’ve corresponded with lately is a musician and the author of a fantastic book about the Fouke monster.  He definitely has more memorabilia than I do; so recently, I sent him a photo of my custom “Redneck diorama”.  It’s a modified The Mighty Kogar gorilla kit … which I customized into my version of the Caddo Critter.  I proudly display this shadow-boxed abomination on the wall of man-cave curios in our game room.  My wife definitely ain’t a happy camper when it comes to me displayin’ anything “Bigfoot” or Sasquatch related.  She shrieked in horror when she caught me tryin’ to hang my Greys Harbor recast from Jeff Meldrum!  Hey, I’m just a fifty-year-old kid that likes to display his toys.  I’m sure she’d rather us have the Southern Living style of décor in our home, but she married an artist … and us “creatives” tend to have kind-of weird tastes.

     I’m also old school as far as my readin’ materials go, and I’ve accumulated quite a library of “Bigfoot” and Sasquatch related books … the majority of them since our encounter.  I do have a few of my original, vintage paperback books from the 70’s such as Sasquatch by Don Hunter and Rene Dahinden; Bigfoot: On The Track Of The Sasquatch by John Green and The Search For Bigfoot, Monster, Myth Or Man by Peter Byrne.  I ain’t much on readin’ fiction lately, but I did thoroughly enjoy No Return by Pete Travers, and would highly recommend a true southern gem called Ol’ Scratch by Cracker Irvin.  My books keep me both occupied and amused so I’m off that-there internet as far as the world of “Bigfootery” goes.  I’m also a documentary freak, and have collected quite a cache of DVD’s on the “Bigfoot” and Sasquatch phenomena.  The only thing I haven’t found for my personal collection is Bigfootville, which I watch in re-run from time to time.  I’d add MonsterQuest to my DVD collection if they offered only the episodes on our hairy friend.  My son makes fun of me every I watch the Creature from Black Lake or The Legend of Boggy Creek.  “Dad … that’s so lame!” Really?  This comin’ from the kid who was scared to friggin’ death of the “bug man” from the first Men in Black or those mummies in them Brendan Fraser movies.  And the martians from Mars Attacks! had both our kids runnin’ for their rooms and under them covers.

 

     Y’all must think I’m some sort of couch-potato with all this talk of movies, model kits and books; but, this October is the month that I decided to really go old school.  I’m shootin’ my recurve more, I quit smokin’, laid-down the beer & the booze and decided that I was goin’ to get my fat-ass into some shape.  I realized this past summer that carryin’ around a 45 lb. hydration-pack full of gear, cameras, castin’ equipment, a machete, a side-arm, extra magazines, back-up pistol and knife as well as my 40 lb. “beer-tumor” was gettin’ to be quite a bit cumbersome.  I saw some pictures of myself that my wife took at that weddin’ in Jigger, and I looked like some sort-of bipedal, grayin’ boar-hog with saggy teets.  I’d actually say that I was lookin’ a lot more like “Patty”, but she was taller and her gut wasn’t as big as mine!  It’s now been 20-days without carbs, sugar or alcohol and I’ve lightened my load by 12 lbs.!  It’ll damn-sure make paddlin’ a kayak through giant salvinia a whole lot easier, and I bet I’ll cover a lot more ground scoutin’ new terrain for my cams.  So this huntin’ season, if y’all see somethin’ large and orange easin’ through the brush while y’all are out there in them woods, it ain’t The Great Pumpkin; it’s just Oldsloughstalker!  Until next time, be safe … and y’all come back now, you hear?