Preppin' ...

     Howdy, y'all ... hope all of you and yours have had the safest & happiest of holidays!  I've not wasted any time around the house, 'cause I've been preppin' my gear for a grand New Year.  I'll be headin' back to Caddo Lake, The Big Thicket, the Ozarks and God only knows where else or what other sights I'll be blessed enough to see.  There's no time like the present to get your gear in order, 'cause before we know it spring will be upon us.  So, why worry about broken or failed gear just before a trip?  My hapless old ass has learned the hard way on many of occasions not to procrastinate when it comes to takin' care of my outdoor gear.  Always go prepared is the motto I (try to) live by, so preventative maintenance is a big part of preparedness.  I'd rather spend some quality time in the grime than bein' out there fixin' sh¡t, so this is why I've already started preppin' ...

A boat is just a floatin' friggin' hole to pour money into ...

     When it comes to my sloughstalkin' ... my boat is what I heavily rely on to get me where I need to get to and back, both safely and reliably.  But then, we all know that a boat is just a floatin' friggin' hole to pour money into ... and I was reminded of that fact just 2 weeks before Christmas.  I sure am glad that Mrs. Claus didn't balk on Santa's repair clause, 'cause not only did I hafta replace a $112.00 deep-cycle crankin' battery, but my $150.00 Guest on-board chargin' system was shot as well.  While I was switchin' stuff out, I cleaned all of the electrical contacts, changed fuses, changed-out the fuel, the fuel filter, plugs, etc. and plan to run it soon.  And if you love it, lube it!  Now, some of y'all need to keep your minds outta the dang gutter ... I was referrin' to the steering cable and wheel bearings.  I'd rather not deal with the consequences of neglect while I'm out and about.  Been there, done that!  I've launched on Caddo Lake with a frozen steerin' cable, as well as broke-down on the side of a highway with an axle snapped at the spindle.  And it seems that the farther away you are from home, the more expensive those repairs seem to get!

The new home away from home! My true test will be a wet spring in the swamp; and yes, there is a rain-fly!

     Now, let's talk about campin' gear.  My Cabela's one-man bivi has always been a great packable tent for hikin' ... but I felt the need for a comfortable base camp.  I'm now over 50, and sleepin' on the dang ground ain't gettin' any dang softer. I both enjoy and deserve some comfort in my old age, especially if I were to be out in them woods a week or so at a time.  Last year, I purchased a brand-spankin' new Ozark Trail 13' x 9' eight person tent, 2 cots and a 10' x 10' awning from "Y'allmart".  As simple as their online videos showed that this stuff is supposed to set-up, it's always a good idea to make a mock camp a few times before takin' everything out into the field.  God forbid you gotta set-up in the dark, durin' a thunderstorm or both ... and then somethin' ends-up missin' or possibly was broke to begin with!  I'd rather not spend a few days in a tent that leaks either, so I always field-test new campin' gear prior to me havin' to heavily rely on it.  Well, thank God I practice what I preach ... 'cause one of the main support poles on the tent was assembled bass-friggin'-ackwards and upside-friggin'-down, as well as bein' jammed together so tight, I thought I was goin' to break the dang thang 'fore I even got to use it.  Hell, it took me & my neighbors Milton & Farrell just to get them friggin' poles apart!

The rounded-side was inverted at the manufacturer ...
... note the damaged sleeve (center) that was jammed!

     I tell y'all what ... if I'd have found an "inspected by" sticker on that friggin' tent, I think I might've been arrested for makin' a terroristic-threat!  There was abso-friggin'-lutely no way in Hell that anyone had set that tent up prior to packagin' it.  After a lengthy re-assembly with tools I probably wouldn't have had out there in them woods, it actually set-up easy enough.  But then, I kinda noticed that the online video did not completely show the dis-assembly portion of said tent.  It shows how easy it is to collapse your tent ... but does not show anyone how to re-pack it.  Surprise!  I found out why ... it's pretty much well a 2 person job to get that 8 person tent back into its friggin' carry-bag.  The 10' x 10' instant gazebo was easy enough for one person to set-up and break-down, as long as you didn't attempt it in a brisk winter wind.  Re-packin' that damn thang was no picnic, either.  At least the new cots were a no-brainer and seemed comfortable enough, but I've made myself sleep in 'em a few times just to make sure.  Sleep deprivation after a full day of sloughstalkin' could lead to me makin' a costly mistake, as in gettin' myself or someone else hurt.  Again, this is why they call it preppin' ... so until next time, y'all take heed and take care!

Slough-scapin’ …

     Howdy do!  After havin' our encounter, one of the things that I began to do while bein’ out there in them woods was to photographically document our trips to Caddo Lake.  I am not by any means a professional photographer; as a matter of fact, I damn-near failed my photography classes when I was in art school!  But over the past several years I made a point to stop occasionally, no matter what I was doin’ durin’ my sloughstalkin' to record what-all I was seein’.  I have been truly blessed to witness my share of beautiful sunrises & sunsets while doin’ my time in the grime!  These pics are some of my favorites, are very candid and as best as I can describe, shots I’d simply categorize as slough-scapin’.  The beauty of the swamp has both captivated and mesmerized me since I was a child.  Doin' my time in the grime does have its perks, so I hope y’all will enjoy these!

One peacefully calm mornin' overlookin' Goose Prairie in early spring; a bit too early for topwaters ...

Dawn patrol; early one brisk spring mornin' in 2014 headin' towards Jackson Arm and the Caddo WMA.

Beyond this mirrored cove I would pole for hours through the Cypress knees and into the flooded forest ...

Another mirrored mornin' on Caddo ... headed towards "Old Folks Playground" and the Louisiana line.

Mossy Break lookin' toward Jackson Arm in late March; I used this pic when I created my blog's masthead.

Retrogressin’ …

     Howdy!  While gettin’ the Landrum household ready for the upcomin’ holidays, I had spent some time goin’ through a bunch of old huntin’ gear.  I came across a cache of stuff that brought back some fond memories, and wondered why I still kept some of it.  I guess I’m sorta retrogressin’ … ‘cause my hapless old ass cain’t seem to part with most of it.  I’m old school, but border on bein’ a hoarder!  Seriously, how much crap can one man keep?  I thought y’all might get a kick outta some of this stuff, so, here goes:  Jon-e Hand Warmers … any of y’all remember these?  Fill ‘em, light ‘em and presto … you got heat!  Just don’t ever stick ‘em in the pockets of your favorite flannel huntin’ shirt … unless you like your breasts overcooked.  You used to be able to purchase these at most any small-town store that sold sportin' goods such as Otasco’s or Western Auto (yeah, I’m showin’ my age).  These oversized lighters were a must for anyone huntin’ in cold, damp conditions like bays or swamps and would burn strong for several hours.  I even have a can of fluid … which is almost full.  Just for sh¡ts & giggles, I looked for these online and was shocked at what they are now goin’ for … that is, if you can still find ‘em.  Due to the fact that the Farmer’s Almanac warned us that this winter would be much colder than the last, I think I’ll be holdin’-on to ‘em … as in, very dang-shortly!    

 

     Remember the Wrist-Rocket?  I still have and regularly use mine ... replacin' the rubber tubing annually.  I remember gettin' this jewel for Christmas back in 1972; incidentally, I also remember gettin' my ass tore-up for aimin' it toward someone.  Paw-paw Jones did not appreciate the small wild melon that mysteriously splattered at his feet from 75-yards away.  I have always been deadly accurate with it.  Combined with a Crown Royal bag full of marbles & steel bearin’s … I would varmint hunt with it, and still carry it in my boat wherever I go.  I’ve kept many a gator that got too close to my rig while fishin’ at bay; a steady aim followed by a good “thunk” on the noggin and they usually go elsewhere!  I guess that since the game wardens might be readin’ this, they might-just ought to appreciate the fact that I wasn’t ever harrassin’ them gators; I was simply keepin’ ‘em away.  Whenever gators get within’ a push-pole’s distance of my boat while I’m standin’ on the friggin’ trollin’ motor in high-gear, I’d say that I’m pretty-much well in fear for my safety.  Y'all please realize that it’s better than the alternative; ‘cause I’d rather not have to dispatch one, know what I mean?

     Here’s my trusty old Benjamin .22-cal. pellet pistol … which still fires as powerfully and as accurately as it did in the 70’s.  I still have a can of the original pellets, as well as an unopened package of .22 cal. darts!  The finish is gone, but I ain’t goin’ to try and restore it.  Remember, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!  And if you love it, lube it and maybe the seal won’t dry-out.  At the disdain of my wonderful wife, this old pistol currently resides on a curio shelf, even though it ain’t there just for display purposes.  This beast can still penetrate a galvanized bucket, and even back in the day I preferred it to any of the CO2 models that my buddies had.  And even though I love our resident wildlife, God help the next friggin’ squirrel that decides to gnaw on the keel of my dang kayak!  Again, since the game warden might be readin’ this … if that were to happen … there won’t be any dang wanton waste; it’ll simply get added into my next gumbo.  Period.  I make a mean squirrel gumbo.  And in no way, shape or form do they taste anything like chicken ...

     I also found several pairs of coveralls that I no longer wear, but cain’t seem to part with.  They just don’t make ‘em as well as they used to … nor do they make these patterns anymore.  Talk about retrogressin’ … I'd come across my traditional brown camo, original Realtree and Trebark.  I’ve even got the matchin’ gloves, hats & overboots as well.  Now, don’t y’all be makin’ fun of my friggin’ overboots; ever sit up in a tree stand or a duck blind in the extreme cold for an extended amount of time?  I’m talkin’ about at a time before there were boots made with Thinsulate.  Wearin’ these gems would keep my toes from turnin’ friggin’ blue!  And speakin’ of which … who could forget them battery-powered electric socks?  I got a pair of ‘em as well.  I bought these long before I discovered overboots.  The wires rubbed blisters, and the battery packs usually bruised my ankles.  They worked, but usually not when or for as long as I actually needed ‘em to.  But they don't have any holes in 'em, which is usually when my old huntin' socks become shop rags ...

 

     Before the days of hydration packs, I simply carried a canteen or a bota-bottle.  Hell, they didn’t sell or even have bottled-waters back then!  The bad thing about these two types of containers is that A: neither held very much, and B: both sloshed loudly while traipsin’ around through them woods.  I fashioned a custom Trebark cover for my old canteen to insulate it, and then found this bota bottle that was puncture-proof as well as bein’ insulated.  I’ve not used either in years, but just cain’t seem to part with ‘em.  Oh, wait, I have used the latter; but, only to transport bourbon or rum.  Incognito that is, when I feel like retrogressin’!  Y’all take care and be safe out there in them woods …

Exploitin' ...

     Howdy!  What's up with all of these new "Bigfoot" and cryptozoology themed shows?  Have the networks lost their friggin' minds? This post has been a long time comin' and I feel that I'm long overdue for postin' a good rant.  My ADD and mini-man madness has kicked-in, so put yer pads on, in or whatever ... 'cause here it comes!  What in the Hell is goin' on with documentaries, and namely ... what I can only describe as "Surreality TV"?  As if cryptozoology wasn't already considered fringe science, it seems that its reputation has gone off the deep end due to extreme exploitin' by a few cable television networks.  For example, what used to be considered a channel that featured awesome science & nature documentaries has stooped in attempts to get its audience duped; as in, to watchin' somethin' that is a blatant friggin' dramatization of misinformation.  And not just once ... but twice!  The sad thing was, that durin' both of these "megalo-maid" broadcast fiascos ... ratings were goin' through the friggin' roof.  So, what does that say about us?  Even though we didn't really discover anything, it says a lot about what's drivin' the science of documentaries these days.



The late Robert Guenette was one of the first

documentary directors to introduce newsreel-
styled documentaries in the 60’s, and directed
the unforgettable National Geographic Specials
TV series.  In 1975 he wrote and directed The

Mysterious Monsters narrated by Peter Graves,

which was the first movie to feature the historic

Roger Patterson footage of a “Bigfoot”.  I had the

privilege of viewin’ this flic back in the day as a

teenager at the old Martini Theatre in Galveston,

Texas.  Incidentally, I had also come across and

purchased his book by the same title a year later.

     Another network, which used to be my go-to channel for animal documentaries has been lookin' for "Bigfoot" for the past few years.  I'm sorry, but does anyone think that they are actually goin' to find anything at the end of one of those shows?  Not no, but Hell no!  I sincerely apologize to some of the cast members, but I calls 'em likes I sees 'em.  Yeah, that's right; I said it ... 'cause if anyone had actually ever found anything, it would have been national-friggin'-news long before anyone would have time to film a dang TV show!  The sad part about this kinda crap is that it hurts the integrity of anyone doin' serious field research on these mystery animals.  Thanks to programs like this, just try gettin' permission to access private properties or sendin' in an unknown blood, hair or tissue sample to a lab for analysis.  Good luck; 'cause unless you got the jack, there ain't goin' to be no hearin' back from most landowners or reputable facilities.  The whack-factor is closin' doors just about as fast as it's closin' minds ...

     And now, some of these offshoot networks are really friggin' reachin' with these groups of larger-than-life wannabes who are huntin' animals that are so ridiculous that one has to wonder what the producers were on when they came-up with this crap.  Your destination ... America, is a repetitive ride through the lower intestines of television.  First of all, please God tell me that none of these idiot's weapons are actually loaded!  I seriously doubt it, 'cause they'd have a hard time gettin' these productions insured.  Normally, this channel airs some fairly decent outdoor shows; however, the ones that I'm referrin' to here ain't anywhere near legit.  Second, I'll admit that I'm fat, but some of these corn-fed chunks have abso-friggin'-lutely no business runnin' around gettin' overly excited in a dangerous environment.  Bottom line is, somebody's goin' to get friggin' hurt.  Period.  God forbid, if anyone has to haul one of these porkers outta the woods to get some medical attention, they might think twice before castin' such portly characters!  And third, not all of us southerners are stereotypes, and I'm sure that most Alaskans ain't runnin' around in animal skins either.  I think the premise for the majority of these lame-ass shows is, the need for a serious friggin' intervention!

     What happened to the days of true documentaries?  Someone would do a study and broadcast their findings, showing the actual field research and the science behind the find.  I pray that when a wood ape is (finally) properly and scientifically documented, that this animal and subject matter is treated with some dignity.   No overly dramatic musical score scripted with the narrator misrepresentin' the folks that actually did their time in the grime!  I'd like everyone to understand that cryptozoology is simply the study of legendary or undiscovered animals in order to evaluate the possibility or proof of their existence.  In light of what folks are viewin' now, the perception is that we are a bunch of friggin' goofs runnin' around at night in the woods ... screamin' and bangin' on trees.  So, stop with all the exploitin' already; I'm sure that the majority of these network's audiences would much rather view the science and actually learn somethin' for their 47-minutes of television viewin' ...

 

     Let's take a look back at a another of the classics.  What gave me an interest to see The Mysterious Monsters was the release of an earlier documentary-styled film, Big Foot: Man or Beast that I'd seen in 1972.  Bein' only 10 years-old at the time, I never fully appreciated what-all this historical film documentation had to offer until I recently found it on DVD.  If I'm not mistaken, I saw this at the old Martini Theatre as well, prior to seein' The Legend of Boggy Creek.  I had no more interest or appreciation for this genre of film back then than I did for any others at that time; I just liked 'em!  But after havin' our own encounter, I now view these screen gems in an entirely new light.  I think that the new guard needs to take a good hard look at some of these older films, and maybe they wouldn't have to reach so far to try and produce a quality program ... right?  I think that's a wrap.  Y'all come back now, you hear?

Teachin' ...

A wood ape bust and the old silverback ... one of two
upright bipeds you may encounter out in them woods!

     Howdy-do!  The North American Wood Ape Conservancy was invited by the Baytown Nature Center to help do a little teachin' at their Nurture Nature Festival, held on Saturday, November 1st.  Christina Butcher, Naturalist for the center had contacted the NAWAC to be a part of this fun, free family event!  It couldn't have fallen on a much-more beautiful day, even though it happened to fall on openin' day of deer season (if you're a gun hunter, that is).  Our only other challenge was the 20+ mph. northeast wind, which combined with temps in the low 50's made me wanna nurture my dang huntin' jacket!  I had no idea that this park even existed, and was blown away by all of the amenities it had to offer.  From playgrounds to fishin' to hikin' & bikin' trails, this park is first-rate.  If you live anywhere near the Houston-Galveston area, this park would be well worth the drive to experience for yourselves!  For more information on the park, please visit their Web site at http://www.baytownnaturecenter.org/.

 

     NAWAC members came from as far as the Dallas-Ft. Worth area to help with our outreach, which is to educate the public about the existence of the North American wood ape.  Members who helped included Tod Pinkerton, Daryl Colyer, Travis Lawrence, Tony Schmidt, David Haring, Ken Helmer and myself ... along with family and friends who enjoyed the festivities as well.  While settin' up, we realized that we would have a tough time keepin' exhibit and teachin' materials on our display tables due to the brisk bay breeze.  But as far as the NAWAC goes, our team members always go prepared!  Colyer produced an 8' by 20' blue poly-tarp which we secured as a windbreak.  After goin' through Hurricane Ike, I'd never thought that I'd be so happy to see another blue poly-tarp again!  Ken Helmer and family showed-up, and produced a 4' by 4' full-color printed informational/pictorial banner that he had designed which helped seal the deal as well as bein' another break from that northeast wind.  As the mornin' wore on, we noticed other participants followed suit to help secure their enclosures as well ...

 

The curious crowds visitin' the North American Wood Ape Conservancy displays in our enclosure on Saturday;
pictured answering questions are Daryl Colyer (foreground), Travis Lawrence (left) and David Haring (right).

 

     According to Park Superintendent Tracey Prothro, close to 2,500 folks came out to attend this awesome event.  From the curious to those who were somewhat familiar with this undocumented mystery animal, the NAWAC answered any and all questions to anyone who asked.  There were even a few witnesses who provided their brief encounters, as well as one that I found particularly interestin'.  An older gentleman stopped by and inquired about this animal, and had stated that he used to be a hunter.  After a brief conversation with Daryl Colyer, he asked what kind of vocalizations this animal made.  Colyer answered that he has heard whistlin', grunts, and cries or howls from these animals ... and went on to elaborate that he's even heard a type of chatter.  That's when the old hunter then asked, "What type of howls?"  Daryl answered, "Well, not really an 'ooo' sound, but more of an 'awww' sound."  At that point, the old hunter said thanks and walked away.  Hmmm, interestin'; I guess that Daryl answered his question correctly, and maybe that's why the old southern gent said that he used to hunt.  One has to wonder; I don't know what else could keep a true hunter from pursuin' his passion.  Most true hunters are fearless; although, another team member said that some of his huntin' buddies simply don't wanna know that these animals are out there.  I guess that if you have the understandin' that this is a real animal and not a "monster" you won't have fear; just awe and appreciation of one of nature's wonders.  Folks, this is why we're out there teachin' ...

 

It appears that almost everyone was curious about wood apes!  Pictured are Ken Helmer and Daryl Colyer;
Tod Pinkerton explaining what the NAWAC is all about; Daryl and Tony Schmidt field some crowd questions.

     For more information on the North American Wood Ape Conservancy and any future community outreach events, please visit the NAWAC Web site or our Facebook page.   Recognition of the species and teachin' folks about this mystery animal is an important goal.  And once this animal is finally properly and scientifically documented, then we can move on to the next step … which will be the protection of this species and its habitat.